Every Colorado College dorm is unique. Some are old and rumored to be haunted, and some are newer and even have air conditioning. With the wide variety of housing options, everyone always seems to find the building with a personality that matches theirs. To perfectly explain each housing option, we have assigned each dorm to its corresponding fast food restaurant.
Big 3 (Mathias Hall, South Hall, Loomis Hall): McDonald’s
The Big 3 are our beloved freshmen dorms. They are all unique: Loomis is known for small rooms and occasional floods, South is nice but too quiet, and Mathais is where all the weird stuff happens.
However, all three are united by the fact that they are primarily filled with first-years, and that requires us to equate them with McDonald’s. It is a fun place to beg your parents to go when you are younger but you soon realize how germy the ball pit is and you don’t want to be surrounded by 30 strangers at all times. You can only go up from here.
Old Town (Ticknor Hall, Montgomery Hall, Bemis Hall, McGregor Hall): Chick-Fil-A
Chick-Fil-A is a step above McDonald’s, but it is still greasy fast food. The Old Town dorms are an improvement from the big dorms, but they are still dorms. And both are unavailable on Sundays: Chick-Fil-A is closed all day and most Old Town residents prefer not to leave their rooms.
Chick-Fil-A offers better chicken nuggets and milkshakes, but at the end of the day, you are still eating cheap fast food. Old Town dorms offer more freedom, but you still have to use a communal bathroom with weird shower curtains.
Apartments (Western Ridge and East Campus): Domino’s Pizza
By the time you are a junior, you are ready to give this whole “independent living” thing a try. Living and cooking with 3-7 roommates sounds like a great time, but eventually you will just find yourself in a dirty apartment with lots of homework to do. Fortunately, Domino’s is there for you when you are out of edible food, meal plan money, and clean dishes. Pizza is present no matter what else is going on in your life, and sometimes we all need that stability.
Frat Houses: Taco Bell
This one should be fairly obvious. As the only Greek Life groups that can live in their houses, Colorado College’s three frats live up to the stereotype. With weirdly sticky floors and furniture that does not match, you often question why you would want to go in at all. Just like Taco Bell, however, we all go back again and again. Each time, we question why it every sounded like a good idea and then swear never to go back. Inevitably, though, we end up there the next weekend.
CC Inn: Subway
The CC Inn and Subway are similar in many regards. They were cool once upon a time, but now they are outdated. Both still exist, and it is impossible to avoid either one. We all know someone who lives in the Inn because they wanted a big room with a bathtub, but they essentially live on the moon and their entire building smells funny so no one wants to visit them. Subway still has restaurants in every strip mall, but no one is ever in them. We are left to wonder why they are there and hope that something better will come along to replace it.
Language Houses: Noodles and Company
The language houses are known for offering cultural events and free food at least once per block. However, usually only the house residents attend, and the food is an Americanized version of their cultural favorites. Noodles claims to offer a wide variety of global cuisine, but most people only go for the mac & cheese because they know they like it. If they were to branch out, they would be able to try American versions of Pad Thai and Beef Stroganoff. Next time, Noodles should cater a global food party and begin to introduce Colorado College to new foods.
Synergy: Panera
Panera represents the Synergy house on campus because Panera has promised to stop serving GMO foods, and Synergy has a small garden in their backyard to grow their own food. Both Panera and the Synergy house have welcoming vibes, and you will always cross the street to walk next to it. It makes you feel good to know that you are eating food that both tastes good and helps the planet, just like our friends who live in Synergy.
Off-Campus Houses: Chipotle
Living off campus is the most freedom Colorado College is willing to give us, yet we still live within two blocks of campus and work in the library. Similarly, Chipotle offers the illusion of freedom to create your own meal, but in reality, you have the same three options at all locations. You always say that this is the time to change up your life, but you resort to ordering the same thing each time. Just as seniors think they have made it by living on Weber now, their life is not much different in a house than on campus.
Fast food is meant to be relatable and our favorite restaurants are all around us in ways we don’t notice, especially since each Colorado College dorm has its own personality that is displayed through its spirit fast food restaurant.