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What the 2016 Candidates Would be if They Were Orders at The Freez

This article is written by a student writer from the Spoon University at Bucknell chapter.

Tomorrow is an extremely important day. People across the nation will be tuning into their TVs as they follow the 12 states holding Presidential primaries and caucuses. This will ultimately be a huge indicator of who is the nominee for each respective party.

Though if you’re not into politics, tomorrow can still be an important day.  The Lewisburg Freez is set to re-open for the season, tomorrow March 1st.  With the warm weekend weather and the Freez opening, spring is going to be here before we know it (I hope).

But in the spirit of Super Tuesday, this is what the remaining 7 candidates would be if they were orders at the Freez.

Donald Trump: Chocolate Freez with Peanut Butter Cups

giphy 2

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

People can’t seem to get enough of the peanut butter chocolate combo. Like Trump, this order is completely indulgent. But then again, also like Trump, it’s freakin’ nuts.

Ted Cruz: Vanilla Freez with Butterfingers

Freez

Photo courtesy of PBS

“Wow, a cow made of butter. My girls would love it. In fact, the first sentence Caroline ever said was ‘I like butter’”– Ted Cruz, on Twitter.

Enough said.

Ben Carson:  Banana Pudding Freez

Paul Lynch

Photo courtesy of flickr.com

You’re sitting there wondering why banana pudding exists, and if people actually like it? Kinda like Ben Carson.

Marco Rubio: Peppermint Patty Freez

marco rubio 001

Photo courtesy of howiecarrshow.com

Like the combination of mint and chocolate, Marco Rubio appeals to many. Though some conservatives may argue that he’s “too liberal” and liberals may argue that he’s “too conservative,” people may argue the same about the classic peppermint patty being too minty or too chocolate-y.  Either way, it looks as if right now Rubio’s here to stay.

John Kasich: Vanilla Ice Cream in a Cone

Freez

Photo courtesy of USA Today

Like the classic vanilla cone, John Kasich is kind of just…well, there.  Not that he isn’t worth your time or anything, but he is often overlooked by the more outrageous flavors…I mean candidates.

Hillary Clinton: Chocolate Freez with Whoppers

timthumb

Photo courtesy of liberalamerica.org

A combination that somewhat reminds you of the chocolate at the bottom of your grandmothers purse. Speaking of your grandmother, Hillary also reminds you of her.

Bernie Sanders:  Freez with Extra Candy

Phil Roeder e1445813734915

Photo courtesy of flickr.com

Like candy, his ideas sound really sweet and appeal to the younger generations.  However, too much candy and you might get a belly-ache.

Casey Twomey

Bucknell '19

Wishes every day was Taco Tuesday