Everyone else pretends that Halloween is the greatest holiday ever, but we’re not afraid to say that it isn’t. It’s okay to be a downer on Halloween. In fact, you should embrace it.
Here’s a few reasons why you’re better off hanging out with the candy bowl rather than doing typical Halloween festivities.
1. It starts way too early.
@Party City, you should not have halloween stuff in mid-September. It’s absurd, and it’s hard to shop for birthday supplies for September and October birthdays.
2. Pumpkin flavored everything.
Trader Joe’s goes way too hard for pumpkin flavored food, not to mention the PSL is overrated.
3. Carving pumpkins is a huge hassle.
And it never goes as planned.
4. The costume saga is never ending.
You can never find a costume, and when you find one you look terrible.
5. You never make a solid plan.
People are really flaky and you never know what you’re doing until an hour before you go out.
6. The party is always a let down.
Everyone is plastered and puking. And you’re just going to be sweating in a uncomfortable costume in a crowded room.
7. And the club is not a better option.
Even if you don’t go to a party, you’re going to be equally as miserable at a club. The lines are way too long for over priced alcohol and the smell of sweat and polyester.
8. You’ll definitely hate all the girls.
And wonder who their mothers are. Can we just not with the booty shorts and fishnets?
9. The Instagram photos are just too much.
Yes, we get it. You wore a halloween costume on Halloween.
10. The decorations are hideous.
The appropriate time to take down decorations is November 1st. We don’t need to see rotting pumpkins on every door step in December.
No matter how bad your Halloween night is, you’ll always have discount bulk candy the day after. And if you’re staying inside all night, which you should, feel free to turn on Hocus Pocus and attempt to recreate Pillsbury pumpkin cookies.
That sounds like a way better night than walking around in an uncomfortable costume trying to get into clubs with outrageous cover fees.