I love UniMelb. I love my friends, my subjects, the pretty buildings, and all our weird traditions (I'm looking at you, Prosh). But one thing that I really, really love about uni is—you guessed it—the coffee.

No, seriously. There are so many coffee shops at Melbourne University—I'm talking upwards of 30—that I was overwhelmed my first year. So, out of pure altruism and the goodness of my heart, I've decided to make an (un)official guide to the best coffee shops on campus.

House of Cards

coffee, tea, beer
Zhihan Ye

Pros: Instead of giving your name to identify your order, you receive a playing card. When they call your card and you get your coffee, you deposit your card back into one of four slots: cultural cause, social cause, environmental cause, or health cause. Then at the end of each month, House of Cards donates some of its profits to each of the charities. You can support a good cause while sipping your latte amongst the beautiful engineering buildings.

Cons: All the seating is outdoor, so it's not the best place to hang out in winter. Plus, since it's a pretty popular spot, the line is usually quite long.

Writer's pick: Clark St. cold brew.

Porta Via

tea, beer, coffee
Zhihan Ye

Pros: Two words: strong coffee. Aptly located right outside the law building, this is your go-to fuel for 8 am classes. Also, Porta Via has partnered with the Skip app, meaning you never have to wait in line for your coffee.

Cons: Since it's at the law building on Pelham st, it's a small hike from the bulk of the Parkville campus. There's also no indoor seating (seeing as it's literally a hole-in-the-wall) and the outdoor seating is limited.

Writer's pick: Their coffee is so good that you can't go wrong with a good, old-fashioned latte.

Carte Crêpes

wheat, bread
Zhihan Ye

Pros: Not only is their coffee fantastic, but their crêpes are to die for, too. They had me at Nutella.

Cons: Their only seating is outdoor seating. Are you sensing a theme?

Writer's pick: Iced latte (it comes with two shots of espresso—be still, my beating heart).

Standing Room

beer, tea, wine, coffee
Zhihan Ye

Pros: The quality of this coffee is hotly debated. Personally, I love it. Others, not so much. I guess you'll have to decide for yourself. If you love it like I do, you're in luck: we have two Standing Room locations on campus! One in Union House and one in the Melbourne School of Design. The stores themselves are small, yet photogenic—your Instagram will have never looked better.

Cons: True to the name, there's no seating whatsoever. The coffee sizes are small and relatively expensive. Plus, the baristas are intimidating hipsters (okay, this isn't really a bad thing—but it had to be acknowledged).

Writer's pick: Batch brew (Be warned! This isn't for everyone.)

Lot 6

spam, cheese
Zhihan Ye

Pros: Plenty of seating—indoor and outdoor—and a very chill atmosphere. Obviously their coffee is awesome, too. 

Cons: Lot 6 is hidden away behind Stop 1 and the 1888 building, next to Tsubu Bar, so it's not always the most convenient location—but it's definitely worth the detour.

Writer's pick: The hot chocolate here is crazy good. You can thank me later.

Honourable Mentions

Professor's Walk Café: They offer a jumbo size, which saves you from the humiliation of going back to buy a second cup 10 minutes after your first.

Ho Ho's Canteen: Easily located outside Union House, their coffee is straight up amazing. Ho Ho's also has a jumbo size.

Castro's Kiosk: For those who like a bit of coffee in their sugar; my personal favourite is the cinnamon latte.