There are two things Melbourne University students pride themselves on: drinking, and doing things before they're cool (yeah, I know, I hate us too). If our official marketing slogan is "Where Great Minds Collide," I'm declaring an unofficial one: "Where Alcohol and Hipsters Collide."

Whether you want to spice up your weekly pub crawl or you're trying to impress your Tinder date, here are the quirkiest bars in Melbourne.

Berlin Bar

Berlin Bar, located in the CBD, is divided into two sections: West Berlin and East Berlin. On one side, plush seats and booths; on the other, old grenades and crates. Their cocktails have Berlin-themed names like The Split States and Luftwaffe Sour. As the Germans would say, viel Spaß!

The Carlton Club

Inside an inconspicuous building on Bourke Street in the CBD, you'll find the most extravagant bar you've ever laid eyes on. With dim lighting and blindingly bright decor, Carlton Club is a triple-level party, each level with its own theme.

The first level is a flashy bar with plush booths, the second level an indoor jungle (there's even an elephant head on the wall because duh), and the third and final level a rooftop tropical paradise filled to the brim with palm trees. Order a jug of sangria and let the debauchery begin.

Pizza Pizza Pizza

For some reason, hipsters really love things that are hard to find. Like this bar. And vintage clothing that doesn't smell like moth balls and dirty socks. If you fancy a bit of scavenger hunt, grab a few friends (just a few! Big groups not allowed) and head to Pizza Pizza Pizza on Meyers Place.

After a slice (or two... or three...), ask for the secret menu. If you're lucky, you'll be granted access into one of the coolest hidden bars in Melbourne. May the odds be ever in your flavour.

The Croft Institute

Not for the faint of heart! This CBD bar is totally science lab-themed. The drinks are served with syringes (for drinking purposes only, of course) and there are beakers and tubes and flasks galore. The bathrooms are slightly creepier, housing hospital beds, eerie dim lighting, and metal sinks. 

Loch & Key

A bar to satisfy all your adolescent, Hardy Boys-esque detective fantasies, Loch & Key is hidden behind a bookcase inside Captain Melville on Franklin Street. Plus, they serve some of the best booze in the city. It just doesn't get much more Melbourne than this, folks.

No matter if you can down three cocktails in one sitting or you prefer to stick to Coke, these bars are some of the coolest hangouts in the city. Just don't tell anyone else — we wouldn't want them getting too mainstream, would we?