Disclaimer: It is important to know that this article is by no means 100% serious. Plastic surgery is something to enhance certain people's confidence, but it is certainly not a requirement for beauty or self-love. It is also not recommended to spend such a large amount of money on food unless, of course, you are willing to share.

Whether we want to admit it or not, we've all thought about plastic surgery at one point or another and what we might look like with a different nose, different lips, a different butt, etc. In today’s society, it is practically a requirement to be self-conscious. I know it’s important to be confident, but I would much rather keep my insecurities and spend those big bucks on some high-class fine dining.

When it comes to my happiness, there’s nothing more important than food. No matter how uninviting my face may look to you, I can always distract myself from your judgment with a good meal. Here are a few meals that you too can enjoy, if you have the money for plastic surgery.

Big-Ticket Burger

Try this five thousand dollar from Fleur, in Las Vegas! It is worth the average cost of a nose job, $4,694. Created by the former Top Chef Hubert Keller, this burger contains high-grade Kobe beef, foie gras and black truffles, topped off with a bottle of 1995 Petrus wine.

Costly Curry

Next, we have this plate from Bombay Brasserie. This $3,200 dollar curry can replace that breast augmentation you’ve been thinking about. This curry contains white truffle, caviar, quail eggs, and even a Scottish lobster coated in gold (yes, there are such things as Scottish lobsters).

Boozey Bagel

Thinking about following the popular plump lip trend? Those Kylie Jenner grade lips may look good, but this $1,000 bagel from the Westin Hotel in NYC may look even better.

This bagel has white truffle cream cheese and goji berry-infused Riesling jelly and is topped with gold leaf. Another benefit is that a portion of its proceeds are donated to a scholarship for culinary students.

Tropical Tiki

Now, skin is arguably one of the most valuable aspects of the face. We are ALL worried about getting those saggy wrinkles at some point in our lives. But I say we worry about that later and spend that extra $385 on a nice big Tiki drink from Three Dots and a Dash. A restaurant in Chicago serves this huge cocktail in a treasure chest that is perfect for a night out with some wealthy friends. 

So now that you've seen these completely affordable things to digest, I hope you consider flying to a new city to get your grub on. I know I can't afford it, so make sure to snap some pictures for me.