Guy Fieri’s protégés are rolling out, looking for Boston’s Best Bites.

*drives by in red Chevy Camaro down Comm Ave*

On this trip, we cross the river to stuff our freezing faces in massive burgers and gulp down some amazing frappes.

It’s Mr. Bartley’s Gourmet Burgers.

Let’s talk about the people that have visited this eclectic establishment. First and foremost, the king of a food road trip, Guy Fieri, visited Mr. Bartley’s on an episode of Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives. Johnny Cash, Jackie O, Bob Dylan, Julian Edelman, Al Pacino, Adam Sandler, Tyra Banks, Katie Couric and Bill Belichick have all tasted the heavenly goodness over at Mr. Bartley’s. That group is more stacked than the double patty burger that was renamed for Mr. Fieri.

So we sit down, look at a menu, and *BAM* jaws drop to the floor.

Waiter: Do you guys need a few minutes?

The answer was yes.

We started with the onion rings. If there is a sign hanging that reads, “Voted Best Onion Rings,” you order the onion rings. That’s it.

Photo by Katie Zizmor

These onion rings were so crispy and delicious.

#SpoonTip: You know an onion ring is good when you bite into it and you get a nice crunch. If the onion just falls out of its fried shell, that’s a no-go. 

Then came the milkshakes. Excuse me, frappes (New England thing, idk). The frappe menu was possibly the most challenging part of the entire menu, including the section where they have salads. Who is wasting their time with a salad here?

I chose the Apple Pie A la Mode Frappe. This frappe has a slice of pie in it. No joke. A slice of pie. The key with this one was to use the provided long spoon. I got chunks of the pie crust in this frappe. Beautiful photographer Katie had the Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Frappe. The frappe was just as beautiful with the chunks of chocolate chips and cookie dough floating around in the creaminess.

Photo by Katie Zizmor

And then, *cue Jaws theme song*

The burgers.

In honor of our good and nearby friend, Tom Brady, Katie got the “The Tom Brady.” She substituted the 7 oz. freshly ground beef patty for a black bean burger. These magic beans were topped with cheddar, guacamole, lettuce, tomato, and red onion. And fries, duh. Unfortunately, Tom and his wife Giselle (close and personal friends) couldn’t make the trip due to a conflict, but they said they are definitely joining for the next road trip. Stay tuned.

Photo by Katie Zizmor

I took on the “Diane Paulus ‘Bravo.'” Topped with cheddar cheese, bacon, maple syrup, and a fried egg, I nearly exploded when it arrived at the table.

Photo by Katie Zizmor

In fact, I got so excited that I made the yolk explode with my mind. True story.

GIF courtesy of reddit.com

This burger was juicy and delicious. The dripping of the egg yolk and the maple syrup was mesmerizing. The bacon was cut thin-medium and was crisp to perfection. The cheese was the perfect savory balance. Oh. And it came with sweet potato fries. These sweet potato fries were crispy on the outside, and warm and fluffy on the inside. Hand cut, real deal, sweet potato fries. Perfect companion for my hearty burger.

This meal was fantastic. Not only is the food great, but the atmosphere of Mr. Bartley’s is one of a kind. You can see everything happening in the kitchen. You can see the burgers flipping and you can hear the frappes mixing, making this small space intimate, not crowded.

They even let us put up our Spoon Approved sticker! Look for it near the “Jackie O sat at the next table over” sign.

Photo by Katie Zizmor

If you live in the United States and have access to a car, train, or plane, it’s definitely worth the trip. If you don’t live in the US, you should still try to make it to Mr. Bartley’s. You won’t regret it.