Kale Is Creeping Its Way Onto Fast Food Menus, and It Has To Stop

Kale is like the creature from the black lagoon – it literally looks like what the creature was covered in. That was probably kale’s most popular use until it was dubbed a superfood and made its way into everything. You would think some things are sacred though, like fast food.

Kale has now invaded the menu of Chick-fil-A. Yes, Chick-fil-A, the inventor of the chicken sandwich, is trying out a new superfood salad. It’s a mix of kale and broccolini, with roasted nuts, and maple vinaigrette.

From the description it sounds more like something from a vegan or fancy five-star restaurant – not a fast food chain.

I’m all for trying to eat better and eating the rainbow and getting your vitamins, blah, blah, blah, but I’m not interested in salad if I’m eating at Chick-fil-A.

Chick-fil-A, like a lot of fast food chains lately, is claiming that their customers want healthier options, which they probably do, but I’m not sure those options should necessarily come from the same place that makes 1,000 calorie meals.

So-called superfoods, like kale and quinoa, have invaded almost every single fast food chain. Earlier this year, McDonald’s put out a kale breakfast bowl, Wendy’s added quinoa to their menu, and Taco Bell began offering a greek yogurt parfait. Even 7-11 offers veggie wraps next to their ever rotating hot dogs and sugary Slurpees.

Where is the line? Shouldn’t fast food be greasy and unhealthy for you and not try to remind you that you have better, healthier options? Deep fryers should be free to fry and not sit idly by while kale takes over.

You can’t have it both ways, McDonald’s. You can’t make fun of foodies and then put their kale on the menu. I get it, though, your sales are down and you need to do something, anything, to get back on top.

I’d like to offer a suggestion to all the fast food restaurants struggling to boost sales: make better burgers. Instead of adding more salads (which are actually worse for you anyway), focus on making your beef actually taste like beef instead of slightly chewy cardboard.

I mean, you don’t see Five Guys struggling right now. They’re boasting $1.14 million in sales nationwide. And you want to know why, McDonald’s? It’s because their burgers are freaking delicious. Just look at this comparison…

I understand offering healthier items appeals to a broader customer base, but I don’t think the people who regularly eat quinoa and kale are going to eat it at McDonald’s and Chick-fil-A anyways.

As for Chick-fil-A, diversifying their menu is not a reaction to poor sales. In fact, Chick-fil-A is doing better than ever. With over 2,000 locations nationwide, and the title of the biggest chicken chain in the country (yes they’re past KFC now), they aren’t hurting for money.

So, again, I ask why? Why offer a kale salad when you know we’re only coming there for your waffle fries and fried chicken?

We all know that fast food isn’t good for us and we eat it anyway because it tastes 10x better than kale. Let’s just own up to our calories and stop pretending we’re going to order a salad at Chick-fil-A. As long as you’re not trying to remake Supersize Me, you’ll be fine. Moderation, people.

If you want a salad I suggest making it yourself. As for me, I’ll stick to the chicken and fries. Maybe a milkshake, too. Also, kale is rabbit food.