I hate salad. Yes, you read that correctly. No, I don’t think “hate” is too strong of a word to describe my intense dislike of salad. It’s the perfect word. Most people don’t understand why, so I’m here to explain why I think salad is the absolute worst.
First of all, it’s really bland. There’s not much to salad. It’s a bed of lettuce, tomatoes, and, if you’re lucky, other leafy greens and proteins — basically, all ingredients that scrunch and taste like water. To get any flavor out of your salad, you have to smother it in dressing. And, at that point, you’re not eating salad: You’re drinking dressing.
Plus, it doesn’t help that I feel like a rabbit every time I eat salad. I’m literally munching on green stuff that grew out of the soil. Very rabbit-like.
Not only does it taste bland, salad is also quite deceiving. It’s only filling for a little bit: After about an hour, you get hungry again. It’s not an effective meal, and I really don’t understand how some people eat only salad for lunch or dinner.
Let’s not forget how difficult it is to eat salad. I always have a hard time figuring out how to eat salad. Some of the leaves are way too big to fit in my mouth, and others just won’t stay on my fork.
Do I use a knife and fork to cut the gigantic leaves? Is it socially acceptable to pick up that crouton and cherry tomato with my fingers? How do I eat that wilted leaf drowned in dressing?