A few weeks ago, my friends told me I needed to “spice up my life.” While my friends didn’t mean it this way, I took their advice literally and added Sriracha to my diet. The experience of trying Sriracha reminded me of hanging out with my frat bro friends.
A flirting frat boy and the striking sensation of Sriracha are both only fun in small doses. When there are too many or too much it gets a little too intense. At the end of the day, the emotional experiences of Sriracha are pretty much identical to the emotional experiences that accompany frat boys.
Spicy, tasty, and totally worth it.
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1. Hot N’ Spicy
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When the chance arrives and you get to the frat house, you realize you’re not some teenager anymore. Rumor has it these college boys have a perfect balance of maturity and a love for fun. The same emotion sets in when you decide to go for the Sriracha bottle instead of comforting ketchup. They’re both totally different than what you’re used to, but you’re ready for the challenge.
2. Fearless Plunge
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You don’t want to be a wimp, so you go in full force. This is the calm before the storm. It’s not as spicy as everyone says, so you go balls to the wall and take another huge, fearless bite. You experience that same sense of fearlessness as you swagger into the frat house full-force, dressed to the nines and ready to strut your stuff. Your jam comes on and you grab your girlfriends to hit the dance floor. A cute guy spots you droppin’ it low.
3. Trap Door
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You’re not sure if you like it yet, but it’s too late. Your eyes bulge when you see these acclaimed “sophisticated” frat bros whippin’ out their dance moves and shot-gunning beers. Instead of grabbing your girls and running to the bathroom, you decide to stay and pop, lock, and drop it. The same exact eye bulge occurs as the spice of Sriracha sets in.
4. Whiplash
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Before you know it, it’s too much to handle. Little did you know, all these frat boys are actually frat stars. All of the sudden, they hand out beers to the remaining crowd, and it looks like you and your friends are the only people left who don’t belong in the frat. It’s time to bolt. The sudden spice from Sriracha also creeps up on you. You reach for a glass of water only to find empty cups covering the table. It burns, it burnnnssss!
5. Boomerang Effect
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You hang at the frat houses and have a good time, and then you need some alone time to recuperate. Before you know it, you’re back at it again in the kitchen of that old familiar watering hole, drinking cheap beer and listening to some guy who calls himself DJ CoolBro. That same sense of fun goes for this popular condiment.
6. Withdrawal
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You can’t get enough. Both Sriracha and fraternity brothers have the ability to be loved due to their gratifying nature. It might have been a bad first encounter, but you can’t resist. You just want more.