If you’re like me, you’ll be dining alone this Valentine’s Day. Very secure people could go stag to a restaurant and face all the happy couples beaming at one another across their overpriced, love-themed appetizers, but for most of us, that would be absolute torture.

Instead, we can make ourselves a delicious dinner, binge on Netflix and ice cream, and pass out in a sugar coma. There’s nobody to judge your “going out” outfit, buy an all-too-cheesy present for, or critique your cooking.

Doesn’t that sound better than having a date anyway?

Appetizer: Cheesy Spinach and Artichoke Pull-Apart Bread

Valentine's Day

Photo by Paige Rodgers

On a normal V-Day date, garlic (and cheese, for that matter) should be avoided at all costs. But since you’re lonely, nobody cares what you smell like.

Make a date with this pull-apart bread because the truth is, bread will always be there for you.

Entrée: Lavender-Crusted Pork Chop

Valentine's Day

Photo by Charlotte Hull

It looks good, like your ex; it’s fragrant, like your ex; it’s not very smart, like your ex. Bonus: you get to stab it with a knife. Make it like this.

Dessert: Nutella Cake in a Mug

Valentine's Day

Photo by Meredith Marcus

There are few things in life as consistently disappointing as being alone for Valentine’s Day. In my experience, mug cakes are some of those things. Make this single-serve Nutella cake and bury your feelings in the calories that probably aren’t worth it.

Post-Dessert: Salted Caramel Ice Cream

Valentine's Day

Photo by Grace Bodkin

When your mug cake is inevitably not enough sugar to drown your self-pity, whip up a pint (or a quart, nobody’s judging) of this salted caramel ice cream. You could wait the 8 hours for it to freeze, or you could wait for one episode of Friends, then put it in a glass and drink it like a milkshake. Just sayin’.

#SpoonTip: It doesn’t require an ice cream machine, so you’re saving even more money on Valentine’s Day by avoiding another relationship you won’t keep up with.

Valentine's Day

Photo courtesy of womenshealth.com