Lifestyle
What Moist Food are You Based on Your Major?
The burning question at the back of each and every person's head: How moist is my major? I have been wondering for years, and the moist answer has finally appeared. Look no further, your guide to the moistest of majors begins here. (But the non-moist version is here, too.)
English - Moist Peanut Butter
Peanut butter is an essential, moist part of modern day food, in everything from moist Thai food to moist candy. English is the same, an essential part of any major; everyone has to write at some point. Some people may be allergic to the beautiful moisture of English, but there are substitutes like moist almond butter.
Political Science - Moist Cookies
Cookies are delicious and moist, plus there are many different kinds, in the spirit of being politically correct and all. These moist treats are perfect for political science majors, as they please everyone (except for oatmeal raisin).
Math - Moist Bread
Moist on the inside, crunchy on the outside, and delicious all together. It's the moistest thing since sliced bread (because it is). Sure it may be a little dry, but so is math sometimes. This is a pairing made in moist heaven.
Biology - Moist Water
Seventy percent of the human body is comprised of the purest form of moisture, the OG moist substance, water. Biologists know that we need this moist liquid to survive and that we will later secrete another moist liquid due to us consuming the first moist liquid.
Chemistry - Moist Cake
Ah chemistry and cake, what a sensual and moist combination. Baking is in essence a science, which makes this moist treat the perfect match for Chemistry. You know what they say, the moister the cake and the chemistry, the better!
Philosophy - Moist Crackers
Philosophers question the very existence of moisture, therefore they are a non-moist food because being moist is subjective. Crackers can have moist things with them, and if something moist is on them, are they moist themselves? The world may never know.
American Studies - Moist Fried Chicken
Nothing is more American than some moist fried chicken topped off with some moist gravy. The juicy, moist, tender insides with the crispy yet somehow still moist crust creates a delectable combination of flavor and texture, just like the interdisciplinary nature of American studies. Plus, Americans are super-moist.
Business - Moist Bacon
Bacon is moist, charming and smooth, just like business majors. Their goal is to charm, and nothing is more attractive to the average person than some hot, moist, crispy bacon. Want to make something more marketable? Add moist bacon.
Studio Art - Moist Fruit
The colorful moisture of fruit pairs with the moist watercolor beauty of studio art majors. They can create wonderful things with something so basic and moist, just like fruit. This is a match for the moist ages.
Dance - Moist Fish
Swimming is like a dance and it is surrounded by moisture. Plus, fish are just as flexible as dancers, so they are basically one in the same. Fish and dance go together like moisture and the word moist.
World Language - Moist French Toast
French toast might not actually be French, but it certainly is moist, and world language majors are (usually) a person who speaks more than one language, like moist french toast touches two cultures. Delicious, fluffy, moist — what more do you need?
History - Moist Wine
Wine has been around for centuries, and that's exactly what history majors are here for. Plus, wine is literally the moisture of the gods, and therefore the most holy of all the moist foods and drinks on this moist earth.
Environmental Science - Moist Salad
It's moist and good for the earth! Environmental studies and salad match up in their fight to make the world a more sustainable place, end animal cruelty and so much more. Plus, it allows for moisture to consume, which is the primary goal in this moist life we live.
Psychology - Moist Avocado
As a brain food, avocado will give you some moist dreams that even Freud would be afraid to analyze. It's good for you too, so it's a win-win. There is nothing more interesting than studying why a person is obsessed with moist avocado, psychologically.
Education - Moist Brownies
Education majors are all about educating others about the wonders of moisture, and a good moist brownie is perfect to do so. Moist brownies appeal to everyone, making it easy to spread and educate the beauty of moisture.
Economics - Moist Burger
The economics majors are fascinated with the marketing of different moist burgers, from the moist McDonald's to the moist Burger King, what makes this damn moist meat so marketable? Also, it's cheap and probably within your budget — perfect for an econ major.
Nursing - Moist Oatmeal
Oatmeal may not be the moist interesting food, but it is healthy and nursing majors are all about health. Plus, you can spice it up with other moist foods, such as strawberries, or blueberries, or basically any other moisture your heart desires.
I hope this article made you rethink moisture and maybe made you discover a new moist food to try.