This article is written by a student writer from the Spoon University at Brandeis chapter.

Most people consider lobster a grand seafood luxury—a luxury that has no rightful place at McDonald’s. A friend of mine considers this “special” the same as a toilet paper manufacturer’s production of wedding invitations. I think that’s harsh, but I will admit there’s some horror in the thought of the world’s largest chain of hamburger fast food restaurants mass-producing lobster rolls.

If you experience the same fright that most people do when they consider eating this item—read on. Because this weekend I travelled to the nearest McDonald’s and decided that I would put a stop to the apprehension; I would terminate the conjectural revulsion; I would reveal the truth about the lobster roll from McDonald’s ONCE AND FOR ALL by eating the damn thing and writing eloquently about it.

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

Just kiddin’ I had my friend eat the entire thing (well, I bit it) because I hate lobster. But I took extensive notes.

Part 1

So, we limped into McDicks—it was supposed to be a pimp walk— and went straight up to the register. Might have cut a few people, not sure. Too focused.

I stared at the picture of the lobster roll on the menu above the kitchen—$7.99, 290 calories, made with 100% real North Atlantic Lobster. My first thought: that’s a damn cheap lobster roll. My second: 290 calories is a SNACK.

Next I told Gina (the cashier) that I’d “take one of those lobster rolls.” I scanned her face for any sign of shock. Nothing.

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

Part 2

Two minutes later a man behind the counter called out “lobster roll!” I swear I remember getting some dirty looks. And some pure wtf looks. #whateverforever I walked up to the counter and took my tray.