I love good guac. And good guac isn’t hard to find; from Chipotle to slightly-sketchy takeout or the grocery store, decent guac is readily available. And while it’s great that guac is being mass-produced, for those of us with a higher spice tolerance, that mild guac is sometimes just…bleh.
When I eat guac, I always add whatever hot sauce is available. Sometimes it’s great, sometimes it’s really not. Like guac, hot sauce is readily available. But, bad experiences aside, is there really One Hot Sauce to Rule Them All?
To answer this, we compared 6 different hot sauces/spices and rated them on
- The spiciness of the original sauce/spice
- The spiciness of the sauce/spice in the guac
- Overall taste
Photo by Isabella Martin
Meet the Tasters
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James: I’d say my spice tolerance is high. Like I might be able to chug Sriracha and be fine.
Photo by Isabella Martin
Nina: I don’t have a spice tolerance. I taste the spice and it bothers me but then I power through and eat the thing anyway, even if it’s painful. Good metaphor for life.
Photo by Isabella Martin
JJ: I have a high tolerance. I like a lot of spice. I like it hot lol.
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Gerri: I grew up eating a lot spicy food, because my parents are from this region of China where it’s all about the spice. I built up a tolerance over time.
The Control
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3 avocados, 1/3 cup of chopped cherry tomatoes, 1/4 cup chopped onions, 1/2 squeezed lime and 3 slices of lemon, and dashes of salt and pepper.
James: It’s good, but it tastes like lime. I never use lime.
Nina: Nice. Creamy. Better than the grocery store.
JJ: I accidentally ate some plain avocado because I thought that was the guac but it wasn’t. It was still good though. The guac was also good, but like really mild.
Gerri: It would be better with a Chipotle burrito on the side, but IDK that’s personal opinion.
The Independent Variables
*For scientific purposes, 2 tsp of spice were added to every 3/4 cup of guac.*
1. Chipotle Tabasco ($3.28 from Walmart)
Photo by Isabella Martin
Spiciness of the sauce
J: 5/10. More smokey than spicy.
N: 6/10.
JJ: 0/10. Usually spice is a little painful and this…isn’t. It’s weird, it’s a little like barbecue sauce, and I know it’s spicy, just not to me.
G: 5/10.
- Spiciness + taste of the guac
J: 2/10. Again, it’s good, but it’s not spicy. It tastes a little like steak and guac.
N: 3/10. The spice disappears a little, but the sweetness and smokiness is still here.
JJ: 0/10. Why does the spice go to the back of my tongue?! Argh. Can I have more?
G: 1/10. SMOKE! Again, not what I’d qualify as ‘spicy’ but that’s because it’s more subtle and not so sharp. Wow, I sound like a sommelier, but for hot sauce. Is that a career?
2. Mango Chutney (homemade)
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- Spiciness of the sauce
J: 3/10. It’s sweet/spicy. I’m more sensitive to pure spice. Or ghost peppers. Are we using those?
N: 7/10. Don’t let the sweetness fool you – it’s burning the tip of my tongue!
JJ: 4/10. You first get the sweet. And then you breathe. And then you get the heat.
G: 5/10.
- Spiciness + taste of the guac
J: 1/10. It was okay. I thought I’d hate it, because I’m not a huge fan of ‘fusion’ dishes, but it was decent. Different. Not really spicy. Also why does it look like weed?
N: 2/10. The sweetness pair very well with the avocado, and that masks the pure spiciness. Lol I thought this would be a fail, but I love it!
JJ: 3/10. It’s pretty good, but it makes the guac look weird. More of an olive than a green. But if you ignore that, it’s hella decent.
G: 2/10. In the guac, the sweet came out more than the spice. But because of the citrus and the salt, it actually worked?! It’s sort of ugly though.
3. Tapatío
Photo by Isabella Martin
- Spiciness of the sauce
J: 8/10. Okay, this is actually spicy. You win, Tap, you win.
N: 9/10.
JJ: 8/10. Sharp – Isabella, I see why you buy this in bulk and put it on everything.
G: 8/10. Yep, this is spicy. Like I know I make fun of people for thinking mild salsa is spicy, but this is spicy for everyone.
- Spiciness + taste of the guac
J: 5/10. I really really really like this one. Like, if you enjoy spice and you enjoy guacamole, you need to get on this Tap. I want to go and get some.
N: 6/10. Dude, like, right now? I’d be down for investing in some of this. It was WAY too hot for me on its own, but in the guacamole, it’s good. I would use a little less spice maybe….
JJ: 1/10. It loses some of the flavor in the guac. I’m not a fan. It kind of tastes like spice but not really like anything else. Not distinctive.
G: 6/10. A little saltier, and definitely spicier. This is weird, but it goes really well with the chip? Looks nice and tastes nice.
4. Louisiana Hot Sauce ($1.75 from The Hot Sauce Stop)
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- Spiciness of the sauce
J: 4/10. It tastes like the Super Bowl and also ketchup.
N: 6/10.
JJ: 4/10. Why does it tastes like spicy ketchup?!
G: 4/10.
- Spiciness + taste of the guac
J: 1/10. It’s not spicy, it’s buffalo-ey. My throat doesn’t feel any spice. I don’t know how I feel about this, it’s pretty mediocre.
N: 1/10. Meh.
JJ: 0/10. Ha. That was nothing. It doesn’t make the guac spicy but it does make it taste a little like vinegar and that’s weird.
G: 4/10. I actually liked this. It brings out the avocado, and it makes it creamier. Don’t know how, it just does.
5. Paprika + Cayenne ($2.12/oz for both, McCormick)
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- Spiciness of the spice
J: 0/10. Is this sawdust?
N: 0/10.
JJ: 0/10.
G: 0/10. It smells spicy but it doesn’t taste spicy.
- Spiciness + taste of the guac
J: 0/10. It tastes like the original, but with a hint of SAWDUST!
N: 0/10. I don’t think there’s anything in there, even though I was the one who added it. Maybe I’m hallucinating?
JJ: 0/10. I refuse to say anything nice about this because we should be using the paprika for deviled eggs and not guacamole.
G: 0/10. Is adding cayenne to guac a thing? It shouldn’t be. Stop while you’re ahead.
6. Hot Mexican-Style Chili Powder ($2.40/oz, McCormick)
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- Spiciness of the spice
J: 1/10.
N: 2/10. Given the advertising, I thought it would be spicier. Can I file a libel suit?
JJ: 1/10.
G: 2/10. Can I stop tasting the hot sauce and just eat the guac?
- Spiciness + taste of the guac
J: 1/10. Decent. I liked the hot sauces better – I thought that the spices would be hotter than the sauces, but it’s the opposite.
N: 1/10. It’s got a hint of spice. At first, it tastes the the original, but there’s some heat on the back and front of my tongue, which makes it interesting.
JJ: 1/10. I also think it kind of tastes the the original, but in a good way.
G: 0/10. Did you even add spice to this one? The other one with powder tasted like sawdust, and this one tastes like nothing.
Overall Favorite
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James: Tapatío. Only the spiciest for the spice king. Super spicy, but not too overpowering. I’m seriously going to bring a bottle of this when I go out for guac.
Nina: Mango. The pairing of sweet, salt, and spice was delicious. I would have never thought to add chutney to guacamole. The flavor is good for someone who doesn’t have a great spice tolerance or who has more of a sweet tooth.
JJ: Mango. Lol, I have a massive sweet tooth. A+ combo. Would eat again.
Gerri: Louisiana. I don’t know why other people didn’t like it, but it was decently spicy and the buffalo somehow made it creamier. It made guac into true comfort food. There. Hate on that.
Overall Least Favorite
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James: Paprika, etc. Sawdust? Oh yeah.
Nina: Paprika, etc. It didn’t really taste like anything.
JJ: Tapatío. I don’t know why I didn’t taste the spice, but I ate a lot of this guac and still nothing.
Gerri: Paprika, etc. It didn’t taste different from the control, and when I added more spice (so unscientific?!) it just tasted powdery and not spicy. 0/10 would never do again.
Photo by Isabella Martin