Whenever you enter a dining hall, clearly your mind is on food, but have you ever just stopped to people watch? It can be pretty entertaining.
You’ve seen them before, but here’s a breakdown of the 6 most classic peeps you’ll see in your D-Halls:
1. The Thief
Oh man, I can’t even count the number of times I’ve played this role. A classic thief will steal anything – cookies from MoJo, cereal from West Quad…hell, even pizza from North Quad. They can be recognized by their suspicious looking bulges in their sweatshirts or excessive trips to the fruit stand.
2. The Dish Breaker
You know who you are. The moment you break a dining hall dish in front of hundreds of students will forever be engrained in your memory. It’s worse than that time you peed your pants at your 5th b-day party. If you see one of these people, clap afterwards to make them even more uncomfortable.
3. The Loner
We’ve all been there. All your friends left you hangin’ and now you’re forced to eat alone. Or you’re just eating at a weird time when no one else wants to. The loner usually avoids making awkward eye contact and has a hard time finding seats. Above all, they’re just praying you don’t acknowledge their awkwardness.
4. The Bitter Dining Hall Employee Who Hates Everything
Ok, we get it. You work in a dining hall and it sucks. You have terrible work hours, you clean up our nasty spills and your other tasks are incredibly mundane. Don’t take it out on us, man! This breed of haters probably wont respond to your “thank you’s” and are secretly tweeting about you every hour.
5. The Stress Eater
Oh, the stress eater aka every student any day, especially around exams. You can spot them ranting /crying with their mouth full about how much work they have or how hard their orgo exam was. They’ll also justify their unhealthy meal choices with “I deserve this.”
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6. The Athletes
On Wednesdays, we wear maize and blue. JK, they do that every day. If you’re not extremely muscular and dressed in head-to-toe Mich apparel, you definitely can’t sit with them. They travel in packs and can are frequently seen bulking up with giant portions of everything. Especially meat.