My mom and I have been watching The Bachelor since the very beginning. Yes, my younger self witnessed Brad Womack choosing nobody, the Trista and Ryan wedding, and the absolute MESS that was Jason Mesnick dumping his first choice for the runner-up on live TV.
I remember watching Emily Maynard's season back in 2012, and was really rooting for Arie over Jef with one F. I was actually shook when she sent him home; he seemed way more her type than Jef. Despite the letdown, that road home led Arie Luyendyk Jr. to be the season 22 Bachelor lead.
Many are calling this season a snooze-fest, from the lack of Chris Harrison (seriously, where has he been?) to the weird group dates (someone almost drank her own pee), to Arie being generally underwhelming as a lead. This show must be watched with a glass of wine to truly enjoy it. Here is this season's ultimate Bachelor drinking game to get you through the rest of the episodes.
Take a Sip
When someone brings up a rose.
Shockingly, like every season before, there is a rose on this group date. However, it seems like every contestant forgets this!
When someone cries.
Wow, you didn't realize he would be making connections with other women?! You literally signed up for this.
When Arie kisses someone.
Please, take small sips, don't finish your entire drink in the first 10 minutes of the show.
When someone talks about how they're so much better for Arie than anyone else.
Sorry honey, someone else is currently saying the same thing in her backstage interview.
When one of the girls runs into his arms at the date.
Why is this just like a thing they all do?
Take Two Sips
When someone mentions Bekah's age.
We get it! She's 22, he's 36, it's icky. Move along.
When someone says, "sorry, do you mind if I steal him for a sec?"
Who else clapped when Bibiana said "actually, I do mind"?
When someone says, "I'm here for the right reasons."
Yeah, sure you are. Will that still be your story when you're promoting sugar bear hair vitamins on your Instagram?
When Kendall or anyone else mentions Kendall's obsession with taxidermy.
We get it, she's so quirky and ~real~.
When Lauren B. appears and says more than 3 words.
Since we all remember her Paris date where the only word she said was "wow".
When Tia swears.
She may be my favourite.
When anyone says "I didn't expect to feel this way."
Why did you come here?!
Finish Your Drink
Whenever somebody makes a pun or a comment about cars or racing.
You know he's not even really a racer anymore, right?
When they're in a hot tub.
Bonus: Keep drinking until they stop making out! Jk, we don't want you to finish the whole bottle in one go.
When Chris Harrison says, "Ladies, the final rose."
No sh*t really?!
When there is a large animal or mediocre artist nobody has ever heard of on the date.
Imagine doing a concert for 2 people who just keep gazing at each other and making out.
Take a Shot
When someone mentions Arie being a "kissing bandit" or his "pillow lips."
He has to have broken some sort of kissing record on this show, no?
When Arie says, "I didn't expect to fall for more than one woman."
Let's say it again for those in the back, WHY👏🏼DID👏🏼YOU👏🏼COME👏🏼HERE👏🏼?
When anybody says "I only want to be married once."
Yes, that tends to be the intention of marriage.
Give this Bachelor drinking game a spin for the remainder episodes of the season, and I'm sure it will make them 5 times better. Why not hold your own viewing party for the finale?! It's going to be the most ~dramatic~ one in Bachelor history... as usual.
#SpoonTip: Please drink responsibly! Spoon U does not support binge drinking or underage drinking.