I’m sure by now you have at least heard the tragic news: UConn no longer serves their classic juicy burgers. Long gone are your cheat days of heavily salted fries (yum) and greasy 100% beef burgers. Now the University has attempted to take a healthier, more eco-friendly alternative; may I introduce to you “The Blended Burger”. This eco-friendly treat is composed of 50% beef and 50% mushroom and is supposedly manifested with much less water than our beloved beef burgers. Environment 1, UConn 0. 

dairy product, sauce, steak sauce, cream, coffee, chocolate
Audrey Aucoin

Being the adventurous food lover I am, I was daring enough to try “The Blended Burger”. My first bite was somewhat of a whirlwind. Friends watched on anxiously for my response, knowing how adamant I am for a helping of greasy 100% red meat.

The mushy texture was not at all appealing, and the taste was rather earthy. How could UConn do this to me? I felt personally victimized.

I decided to take another bite. The texture wasn’t as shocking this time, and I was able to get a better sense of what the burger truly tasted like. Definitely earthy, which is due to the mushrooms, yet I could somewhat taste the beef. Sadly, the fungus overpowers my treasured beef, and I am left utterly defeated. 

sushi
Audrey Aucoin

My final thought? “The Blended Burger” is not for those who despise any taste related to earth much like myself. Just the taste of anything green leaves a sour flavor on my taste buds. Yes, I love advocating for the environment. No, I do not like the taste of the environment in my meat. That’s what carrots and broccoli are for.

In all honesty, “The Blended Burger” is not too awful, and somewhat satisfies the craving of a good ol’ fashioned beef burger. I advise all of you to go out and try it for yourself! Who knows, you may end up finding your new favorite treat. 

bread, tomato, cheese
Audrey Aucoin