I have a terrible secret. I spend much of my online time on explicit sites. Explicitly delicious, that is. I am, of course, talking about food porn. We’ve all encountered it — it’s overly seductive, unattainable, highly produced and mesmerizing. We know we shouldn’t stare, we know it’s wrong. We feel terrible about ourselves after staying up until three in the morning, searching for and gazing at the most indulgent sites.
I have good news for all addicts — this is a natural urge. We are human, thus we do get hungry and need satiation. Never be ashamed of your food porn addiction. In fact, in order to celebrate your obsession, I’ve complied a list of the best food porn Tumblr has to offer. Enjoy, but please keep this material away from impressionable eyes (read: those on a diet).
diet-killers.tumblr.com: The blog is frequently updated with sweets in every conceivable form: cakes (of the cheese, cup, and pan variety), cookies, breakfast ideas (that, if you eat, would require you to skip lunch and dinner because nothing could taste as good made up of your few remaining calories for the day). If you have food-porn-capturing skills, they gladly accept submissions and post them with photo credit. Unfortunately, there aren’t links included with recipes for the treats, but we can thank diet-killers for not being enablers.
gastrogirl.tumblr.com: Again, this Tumblr has a strong focus on sweets, but lots of the images are themed, in case you need inspiration for your next Halloween party/sorority mixer/midnight food bashing session. Added bonus: every photo includes a link to the recipe, so you can make as many batches of pumpkin cupcakes as you want, with delicious, X-rated results.
beautifulpicturesofhealthyfood.tumblr.com: Whenever these guys post, it provides a nice break from the constant images of fudge-covered chocolate cake and Nutella pancakes. They often include GIFs (whoa, getting explicit…) and lots of the images are just “clean-eating” inspiration: fresh fruit and veggies or granola, which provides real healthy-eating inspiration among a sea explicitly sweet and salty food porn. BPoHF also has a functional side, providing lots of healthy recipes (pumpkin spice mini muffins for only 27 calories and 1 gram of protein for 1 muffin!) and tricks to make healthful eating easy. Check out the “Spinach Pops”: frozen pureed spinach cubes to keep the leafy goodness fresh for your smoothies and protein shakes.
f-word.tumblr.com: Besides having easily the best name I’ve seen on food porn sites, this gem includes everything from fried chicken to red velvet French macarons (swoon…) to “japadogs” (hot dogs with distinctive Japanese toppings) to Belgian waffles. Some, if not most, of the images include links to recipes and (for those of us lazy food-porn-addicts) restaurants, though some images are merely follower submissions. Follow this one immediately and you’ll be saying the other f-word in delight after just a few posts.
awesomedessert.tumblr.com: For those of us with a baked goods problems, this one is easily the “porniest” of them all. I have actually spent an hour just scrolling though their posts until I had worked myself up so much, I had to engage in some Hot Cookie Bar. No recipes are included, but for those planning parties or weddings (addicts fall in love, too), their images provide amazing aesthetic inspiration. My favorite: a classic cheesecake topped with fresh blueberries from edge to edge.
Seductive, sinful and all-around mouth-watering, food porn will never leave my Tumblr dashboard. It may give me unrealistic expectations and I may never enter a meaningful relationship with real food because I am so enamored, but I’m honestly very happy. My eyes sometimes get just as hungry as my stomach, if not more so.