There’s no denying that we’ve all done questionable things while drunk. Alcohol and following morning regret is basically a package deal. Even though going sober to the bar isn’t always the definition of a good time, without the occasional sober night we would never remember the weird things our friends and peers get up to. Here are 7 of the weirdest things sober people have witnessed at the bar.
1. Someone always hurts themselves
Brogan Dearinger from Indiana University was working at her campus bar one night when the fire alarm was pulled. While everyone was outside a crowd of people gathered by a wrought iron fence. Brogan and some of the bouncers thought a fight had broken out, but instead someone had tried to climb the fence and gotten their leg impaled by the spikes at the top. The paramedics and firefighters had to take the guy to the hospital with the spike still stuck in his leg.
2. The drunken hunger can hit at anytime
I live for the drunken 2 am McDonald’s run after the bar–it’s basically an unspoken tradition– but sometimes the hunger hits at the bar and you have to get creative. Johnna Green from Sinclair College was sober at the bar one night and made a trip to the washroom where she found a half eaten watermelon sitting on the back of the toilet–cracked open and with a fork stuck in it. When the going gets tough, the tough bring watermelons. That’s how the saying goes, right?
3. Anywhere’s a washroom?
Marina Nazzario was out sober at the bar and noticed a guy who appeared to be looking for the washroom, but what he found ended up being the kitchen. Where he proceeded to pee on the floor because kitchens look almost identical to the washroom.
4. Everyone’s a possible new BFF
From my experience going into the girl’s washroom is basically like stepping foot into a compliment shower. Me and a girl I’ll probably never see again are now following each other on Instagram, Snapchat, and LinkedIN, and also planning a sushi hangout because, “OMG I just loved her shoes!”
5. There’s always someone looking for attention
Kaska Kwiecien from Drexel University was bartending one night and noticed two girls that were blatantly trying to get attention. Realizing that nothing that they were doing was getting the desired affect, one of the girls pulled down her tank top exposing her breast while her friend started sucking on it. No publicity is bad publicity, right?
6. There’s also the people that think they’re being subtle
Another night while bartending, Kaska witnessed two people attempting to look nonchalant while having sex on a bar stool. Because as we’ve all been told, the best place to hide is in plain sight.
7. A bald head is the perfect canvas
Olivia Vantuno from Marymount Manhattan College was at a bar one night where a large group of guys were getting wasted. Later into the night someone fell asleep at the bar giving this large group of boys–who weren’t his friends–the perfect opportunity to take out the Sharpie and start the inevitable drawing of penises all over his bald head. Eventually the whole bar joined in, even the bartender didn’t pass up the opportunity.