Take me out to the ball game, take me out to the crowd. Buy me a hot dog with mac n cheese, fruit loops, and jalapeños, I don’t care if I never get back.
When you think about America’s favorite pastime, you probably imagine a sweaty summer day at the ballpark filled with Cracker Jacks, beer and, of course, hot dogs. As the road to the World Series begins, here is a breakdown of this season's real winners: the teams with the most insane hot dogs.
Check out how these 15 ballparks have seriously stepped up their hot dog games:
1. Globe Life Park at Arlington (Texas Rangers): The Broomstick
Everything's bigger in Texas. This 2-foot-long hot dog puts your store-bought dog to shame. It's loaded with chili, cheese, onions, and optional jalapeños to give it an extra kick.
2. Camden Yards (Baltimore Orioles): Crab Mac n' Cheese Dog
I think the Orioles may have invented a new Holy Trinity: mac and cheese, crab, and Old Bay. Throw all this on a hot dog and you have a ballpark masterpiece.
3. PNC Park (Pittsburgh Pirates): Cracker Jack and Mac Dog
The Pirates are going for the ultimate salty-sweet combo, topping their signature hot dog with mac and cheese, Cracker Jack, salted caramel sauce, and deep-fried jalapeños. It may sound slightly insane, but the mix of textures and flavors make this Cracker Jack and Mac Dog a home run.
4. Turner Field (Atlanta Braves): T.E.D. (The Everything Dog)
The Everything Dog really is the perfect way to describe the Braves' most recent creation. Fox Sports' description of this dog is the only way to do it justice: “a foot-long hot dog layered with fries, chili, nacho chips, beer cheese, and jalapeños, topped with popcorn, then drizzled with Coca Cola-infused BBQ sauce.”
Absolute mess or sheer brilliance? Head over to Turner Field and decide for yourself.
5. Minute Maid Park (Houston Astros): The Freddy Fender
The Freddy Fender was named the Hot Dog Derby champion in 2014, and it sure does deserve that title. The Astros' description of this hot dog is just too beautiful: "It's chorizo sausage wrapped in a corn tortilla and deep fried, topped with tequila braised onions, pico de gallo, and Cotija cheese on a pretzel bun." I'll take two, please.
6. Progressive Field (Cleveland Indians): The Slider Dog and the Thomenator
The Indians are combining breakfast, lunch, and dinner all in one hot dog. The Slider Dog is topped with mac and cheese, bacon and...Fruit Loops? I'm not sure how my favorite childhood cereal fits on a hot dog, but Progressive Field has somehow done it.
Progressive Field is also paying homage to retired player Jim Thome with the Thomenator, a hot dog topped with onions, sauerkraut, and three pierogies. Just wow.
7. Marlins Park (Miami Marlins): Miami Mex Taco Dog
Taco, hot dog, or both? The Miami Mex Taco Dog is complete with all your favorite taco toppings: chili, pickled red onions, jack cheese, and jalapeño lime crema. In true Miami spirit, they sub a bun for a tortilla to complete the Miami Mex Taco Dog.
8. Nationals Park (Washington Nationals) and Citi Field (NY Mets): BLT Dog
Talk about a gourmet food fusion. Box Frites at Nationals Park and Citi Field is combining the classic BLT with the ballpark hot dog. It's serving up a hot dog topped with applewood smoked bacon, lettuce, tomato and, best of all, bacon aioli. Double the bacon, double the fun.
#SpoonTip: Order a side of fries with one of Box Frites's signature sauces.
9. Kauffman Stadium (Kansas City Royals): Champions Alley Hot Dog
The reigning World Series champs created a bomb of a hot dog to commemorate their victory. Appropriately named the Champions Alley Hog Dog, this dog is bacon-wrapped and tempura-battered. It's then topped with a sweet slaw and chipotle ketchup, all snuggled in a pretzel bun. Priced at a whopping $15, the Royals' newest hot dog definitely goes for the gold.
10. Chase Field (Arizona Diamondbacks): D-bat Dog
An 18-inch, 3,000 Calorie corndog? Yes, the Diamondbacks just went there. The D-bat dog quite literally looks like a baseball bat. If the length wasn't enough, this hot dog is also stuffed with cheddar cheese, jalapeños, and bacon. The D-backs are definitely going big with this killer hot dog.
If you're not stuffed from the D-bat dog, the Diamondbacks have also concocted a beautiful dessert hot dog: the Churro Dog. ESPN describes the Churro Dog as "a warm cinnamon churro sitting inside a Long John chocolate glazed donut, which is then topped with frozen yogurt, caramel, and chocolate sauces." This may just be the ultimate ballpark dessert.
11. Angel Stadium (LA Angels of Anaheim): Legends Dog and Sonora Dog
The Legends Hot Dog sure is legendary. As if a foot-long hot dog wasn't enough, this "secret" hot dog is also topped with barbecue brisket from Smoke Ring Barbecue. Talk about a winning combination.
The Angels are also mixing it up with their Sonora Dog, complete with bacon, beans, avocado, and pico de gallo. These Latin flavors pair perfectly with the classic hot dog. After all, who doesn't love avocado?
12. O.co Coliseum (Oakland Athletics): Diablo Dog
Try the Diablo Dog if you dare. The Diablo Dog has a spicy kick to it, warranting its devilish name. With nacho cheese, bacon, and onion strings, I'm definitely on board.
Can't make it to the ballpark? Find out where you can get the boldest hot dogs across the country here.
13. Wrigley Field (Chicago Cubs): TV Dinner Dog
One of the most iconic stadiums in the game is recreating another American icon on a hot dog: the TV dinner. The TV Dinner Dog is loaded with mashed potatoes, gravy, and corn. Have a balanced meal with this spin on an American classic at Wrigley Field.
14. Comerica Park (Detroit Tigers): Poutine Dog
A take on the classic Canadian dish, the Poutine Dog is topped with French fries, cheese curds, and gravy. With meat, potato, and cheese, this hot dog sounds like something straight out of heaven. Comerica Park is also home to the Chips and Dip Dog, a hot dog complete with crushed Lay's chips and French onion dip.
15. Dodger Stadium (LA Dodgers): Dodger Dog
Extreme Loaded Dogs at Dodger Stadium is constantly reinventing the classic hot dog with flavors spanning the globe. Their most recent creation? The King's Hawaiian Dog topped with a pineapple salsa.
The Dodgers also adjust their hot dog menu with each home strand. When the Miami Marlins visited Dodger Stadium in May, Extreme Loaded Dogs cooked up the Cuban Dog, topped with ham, Swiss cheese, pulled pork, and mustard.
This season's hot dog mashups have certainly blown away the crowds. In my opinion, all of these hot dog creations deserve the World Series Trophy.