Recently I wrote about a study which claims that colors red and yellow make us hungry. Now, science is telling me that if someone has blue eyes they are more prone to becoming alcoholic at some point in their life. Could the world be any more full of shit. (

eye color

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

The University of Vermont just conducted a new study which developed the find that people with light-colored eyes, especially blue eyes, possibly have a higher chance of becoming dependent on alcohol.

Well let me tell you something, SCIENCE and SCIENTISTS, I happen to have blue eyes.

And you know what, UVM, I can’t exactly say your discovery is wrong in my case…

eye color

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

… but, come on. I wish I could legitimately gainsay a scientific theory by uttering “bullshit” aloud and in an angry tone. Guess it doesn’t work like that. Hence my not-science major.

Anyway, supposedly, out of a sample of 1,263 European-Amercans, alcohol dependency was more prevailing to each of those with light eyes than those with dark eyes. What’s more, homies with the blue eyes (that’s us) had the most extreme rates of alcohol dependence. Sveet.

eye color

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

I guess there’s this thing going on between eye color genes and genes connected to alcohol dependence. This “thing” is accurately called a genetic interaction—when a gene affects the shit out of another gene.

And if you thought this couldn’t get worse than genetic proof, here’s the finale… clinics might start using eye color as a component for alcohol dependence diagnoses.

eye color

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

Looking forward to stories about patients being charged with assault and battery via coach purse.