Halloween is by far my favorite holiday of the year. Forget beautifully wrapped presents, crackling fireworks and colorful eggs–Halloween is the holiday that gives me an excuse to roll around in a huge pile of sugar. It’s the one day of the year where I can dress up like the true weirdo I am and eat as many sweets as I want. Like clockwork, every year the same trick-or-treating process goes down.

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Picking out the best places to go

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This is probably the most important part of the trick-or-treating process because it determines how much candy you get. Back home, my friends and I would always go to the gated communities because they gave us king-sized candy bars.

Getting the candy

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Trick or treat; smell my feet; give me something good to eat!

Experiencing the horror of getting things that are not sweets

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Sugar or nothing, please.

Or not even food

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Wtf…? I love me some non-edible objects, but that’s for a different holiday.

Getting home and laying out candy like you’ve just hit the jackpot

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It’s like looking at your first paycheck–except it’s a pile of edible, sticky sugar things, which is even better. Plus, you can see what all your friends got and trade them for the best goodies.

Eating it ALL

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AKA: the best part of the night, where eating is guilt-free, and you haven’t started to crash yet.

Like, without any reservations

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Eat like there’s no tomorrow!

And then hating yourself for eating so much

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Maybe a little too much. It’s like the first time at the dining commons when you have to try one of everything before you realize Crossroads just isn’t that good.

And, finally, death by food coma

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Definitely too much–but that’s okay because when you wake from your candy-induced sleep, you can use your leftover halloween candy for all sorts of things.

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