There’s a solution for bad wine? WHAT? Lemme frame this for you:
The end of the semester is a really, really sad time of year. Nobody’s partying and everyone’s hunkered down in the library 24/7 trying to pass their exams (seriously, I’m trying to figure out if the guy next to me in here has even showered once in this past week). It’s the worst, and what’s even worse is that all that alcohol sitting in your room isn’t going to good use.
The cherry on top? You’re so sober that your wine actually turns, a.k.a., has gone bad. What’s that, wine can go bad? Yes. According to Eat By Date, once opened, white wine lasts 1-3 days in the fridge, and red 1-2 weeks (meanwhile, Franzia knocks everyone out of the park by lasting a whopping 6-12 months past open date — but for argument’s sake let’s hope you’re not only chugging Franzia all the time).
Which means that once exams pass, your wine is all kinds of nasty. Bad wine comes with a series of pret-ty serious ailments, where you can get anything from food poisoning to some serious stomach bugs.
Basically, it’s not ideal, and you shouldn’t try to drink your wine, even if you want to in order to save a few cents.
Never fear, though, you still have options. Here’s some solutions that’ll blow your mind:
1. Cook it Up
Even though your wine isn’t drinkable in its original form, it’s still perfectly fine to be cooked with, and a great solution for getting rid of that last bit of red wine. Which means you can indulge in this delicious red wine chocolate cupcake recipe, or marinate your favorite meat in it. The acidity in the wine will actually help break down the tough fibers of the meat, making it all that more tender and juicy. Win-win.
Even though your wine isn’t drinkable in its original form, it’s still perfectly fine to be cooked with. Which means you can indulge in this delicious red wine chocolate cupcake recipe, or marinate your favorite meat in it. The acidity in the wine will actually help break down the tough fibers of the meat, making it all that more tender and juicy. Win-win.
2. Soak It In
Literally. Ever thought about taking a bath in wine? No? You wouldn’t be the first to do so — this spa in Hakone, Japan is known for their red wine spa in which their guests bathe in pools of red wine (although it’s advised for them not to drink it). If a trip to Japan isn’t really in the cards for you, no problem… Just do it in your own bath tub (simple, effective, and really really cool). #BallinOut — the solution for high rollers only.
Not only that, red wine is known to be especially good for your skin, so instead of spending all that money on expensive skin care products, buy yourself another bottle (and pour a glass to drink).
3. Make A Fashion Statement
Tie-dye is not just for your 5th grade class t-shirt anymore. And, they’re great for themed parties. Future you will thank current you for doing this service. How cool is it to be able to say that you made this shirt from wine?
4. Send Happiness to Your Plants
What, you don’t think your pet cactus likes getting sloshed? Apparently, plants are like people and also enjoy vino. If you drop some wine in your compost bin, it activates bacteria that will grow your plants faster and healthier. Yeah, I know, I’m blown away too. Seriously, if you won’t take my word, read about it on Tree Hugger.
5. Save Your Sofa
White wine is a godsend when it comes to cleaning greasy stains or getting rid of red-wine spillage on your white sofa. Your landlord will thank you on this one — if you pour some over the affected area, leave it for approx. 10 minutes, and pour some water over it, voila! Similarly with grease stains, mix your white with baking soda and scrub — it’s magic.
But seriously… Next time your wine seems kinda funky, don’t bin it. There’s hope still.