With one year under my belt as a vegetarian, I have found there is a dizzying array of imitation meat options on the market, from fake chicken nuggets, like the ones by MorningStar Farms, to the often-lampooned Tofurkey products.
While it is easy enough to take a standard recipe and substitute in fake meat, finding the right replacement is not always simple. Instead of picking up a package of chicken like your carnivorous friends, you have to choose between products with such enticing names as chik’n, chick’n, meatless chicken, and chicken-free.
To help you in this odyssey, we taste-tested five different kinds of imitation chicken to crown the most normal, flavorful, and least-rubbery of them all.
To ensure the scientific validity of this test, an equal amount of a single sauce — made with orange juice, garlic powder, soy sauce, rice vinegar and red pepper flakes — was applied to each wingless contestant.
Photo by Mollie Simon
Simple Truth Meatless Grillers
Package Size: 16-oz., 5 serving package
Price: $3.99
Health Info: 140 calories per 85 grams, vegan
Cook Time: Fast (3-5 minutes)
Photo by Mollie Simon
This product, made by Kroger, looks like chicken in the same sense that a McDonald’s Filet-o-Fish sandwich resembles a fish. It’s a bit… let’s call it, rectangular. As I came to learn though, this is a pretty standard shape for fake chicken.
Despite its shape, this brand cooked easily and absorbed the sauce well. Although I prepared it on the stove, it had its own pleasant grilled flavor which added to the product. The “meat” itself was not very thick and was a bit on the soft side with some chewiness to the edges, but the bag gave a lot of bang for the buck at almost twice the size of some of the other taste test contenders.
I’d recommend pairing this soy-based product with pasta dishes, if you are looking to add in some protein.
Overall grade: A-
Photo by Mollie Simon
Quorn Chik’n Cutlets
Package Size: 9.7-oz., 4 serving package
Price: $1.99 (with mix-and-match store deal)
Health Info: 80 calories per 69 grams, gluten free
Cook Time: Slow (6-10 minutes)
Photo by Mollie Simon
This product wins points for being shaped like an actual chicken breast. It might scare you straight out of the box with its pale coloring, but don’t be fooled — about 6 minutes into cooking, a real, chicken-like object will emerge, prepared for consumption.
Unlike the other soy-based products tested, this one is derived from something called mycoprotein. While there is some argument as to whether this fungus should be labeled as an allergen, as this WIRED Magazine article explains, there is no denying that this stuff is pretty darn good.
Photo by Mollie Simon
Not only is it juicy and able to hold a lot of flavor, but it actually has a texture similar to chicken. It also is much thicker (and more filling) than other fake chicken substitutes.
If you are going for presentation or need a substitute that will work in place of a full chicken cutlet, this is your best bet.
Overall grade: A-
Photo by Mollie Simon
Simply Balanced Teriyaki Meatless Chicken
Package Size: 9-oz., 3 serving package
Price: $3.99
Health Info: 130 calories per 85 grams, vegan
Cook Time: Medium (5-7 minutes)
Photo by Mollie Simon
Before moving forward, I think it is important to say that this taste test was probably the closest I will ever come in my life to eating rubber. In all fairness to this Target product, I did not use the accompanying teriyaki sauce packets so that I could keep the test consistent with the other chick’ns.
Photo by Mollie Simon
Unfortunately though, these fake meat strips looked unappetizing from the moment they came out of the package. And, unlike some of the others which improved with cooking (I’m looking at you Quorn and Beyond Meat), this never really stopped looking like a slightly neglected, possibly dehydrated string cheese stick.
I imagine real chicken looks like this once it has been freezer burned to death. It was chewy, dry, and didn’t take in any of the sauce flavor.
Dear Target,
I will always love you for buying kitchen supplies and board games, but I will never come back through your doors for the meatless chicken.
Overall grade: F-
Photo by Mollie Simon
Gardein Lightly Seasoned Chick’n Scallopini
Package Size: 10-oz., 4 serving package
Price: $2.99 (with mix-and-match store deal)
Health Info: 120 calories per 71 grams, gluten free and vegan
Cook Time: Fast (2-3 minutes)
Photo by Mollie Simon
These were pre-portioned as cutlets, but were not quite as thick at the Quorn product.
Although they were a bit on the salty side, the pieces stayed moist and looked like chicken when cut. It was a bit chewy overall, but could stand alone without much sauce.
Photo by Mollie Simon
To get a nice brown color as shown the package, it took longer to cook than the directions suggested, but this is still a good choice for those nights when you have a few textbook chapters to read and a few hundred notecards to make.
Overall Grade: B+
Photo by Mollie Simon
Beyond Meat Chicken-Free Strips
Package Size: 9-oz., 3 serving package
Price: $4.99
Health Info: 120 calories per 85 grams, gluten free and vegan
Cook Time: Fast (2-3 minutes)
Photo by Mollie Simon
These gave me a good laugh just from the package as only one lone strip had grill lines on it. Not that these lines actually help or detract from the flavor, but if you are going for the aesthetic, you gotta be all in or all out.
Photo by Mollie Simon
Overall, these were pretty thick and probably the closest to actual chicken in texture, but they had their own sort of innately bland flavor and did not absorb the sauce very well.
Given the high price tag, I would pass on these unless you are making something along the lines of a chicken pot pie where you really need the chick’n to have substance.
Overall Grade: B-
Photo by Mollie Simon
Superlative Awards
Drumroll, please.
GIF courtesy of giphy.com
Rubber Chicken Award – Simply Balanced Teriyaki Meatless Chicken
GIF courtesy of giphy.com