Bachelor in Paradise is a wildly successful spin-off of its older sister, The Bachelor, and has been around for four seasons so far. Characters are taken from previous seasons of the original show, and quite literally dropped off at a beach-side vista in Mexico, where they’re forced to mingle with other cast members they may or may not know, and will eventually go on dates with. This past summer’s season proved that Bachelor in Paradise…isn’t exactly always paradise. Lots of drama went down and everyone’s true personality came out on air, which is why we’re here reading this article right now.
First off…
1. Ben = Whole Grain Bread
Let’s cut to the chase. Ben was a super nice and normal guy, who may or may not have been completely and utterly obsessed with his dog (but aren’t we all?). However, he is whole grain bread for a reason. You know it’s good for you, and that you should probably pick it over the white bread that will not be so good for you, but in the end you just don’t choose the whole grain bread. This unfortunate choice is what happened to Ben. He just wasn’t picked. Ever, really.
2. Jasmine = Flamin’ Hot Cheetos
Jasmine was an absolute whirlwind from practically the moment we met her on Nick’s season, to the moment she finally left Bachelor in Paradise. She was alright at first, and we weren’t completely scared of her yet. But then she started to try to choke cast members and go WWE on Danielle, which officially made her certifiably crazy and out of control. Flamin’ Hot Cheetos don’t seem so bad, and about after a second they ruin your experience with just how spicy they can actually be, much like Jasmine did for Matt.
3. Raven = Chicken and Biscuits
Did you honestly think Raven would be anything other than a traditional Southern food? Raven wasn’t too wild and was considered one of the “chill girls” that gets along with everyone. Chicken and biscuits is a pretty simple dish that everyone loves, and Raven is a girl that always seemed fun to be around, and didn’t cause any drama. What else is there to say?
4. Danielle M.= Honey
Danielle was honestly the sweetest person to ever go on any season of The Bachelor franchise. Everything about her was so innocent and kind, maybe even a little meek, and even her voice actually sounded sweet as honey. Her career is taking care of babies, and she left the show to go to Africa…to take care of babies. If there were superlatives for Bachelor in Paradise… Danielle would have “Sweetest” in the bag.
5. Daniel = Maple Bacon
Honestly, Daniel was just completely and utterly WEIRD. If you haven’t seen socially awkward and cocky at the same time..just listen to Daniel talk. He’s Canadian, so it only felt right to compare him to maple bacon. All I really remember from him is his constant muttering of “You know?” and “Eh?”, as well as how weird him and Lacey were. That’s really it for Daniel.
6. Kristina = Avocado
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been rooting for Kristina since the second she had that heart-to-heart with Nick Viall (ew) in his season of The Bachelor. She is by far a fan favorite, and when her and Dean first met each other we all were rooting for them to make it out of Bachelor in Paradise together. Avocado is loved by pretty much everyone and goes great with pretty much anything, and that’s how I view Kristina.
7. Danielle L.= Dragonfruit
I was always skeptical of Danielle from the beginning. She’s beautiful, yes, but everyone was in agreement that her personality was lacking. This is where my comparison comes into play. Danielle is a dragonfruit. Dragonfruit is gorgeous on the outside, and seems extremely exotic and exciting. However, when you actually taste this fruit, you realize it looks better than it truly is. Which is exactly how I view Danielle personally. Pretty on the outside, a little bland on the inside.
8. Dean = Anchovies
Last and definitely least…is Dean. Dean is anchovies. Why, you ask? Dean is not so great, and had some quite slimy personality traits that really set me off. He was everyone’s favorite in Rachel’s season, and everyone hoped he’d eventually be a bachelor, UNTIL Bachelor in Paradise. He had Kristina, who was probably perfect for him, and left her for Danielle, only to leave Danielle as well. Anchovies are atrocious and ruin everything…much like Dean ruined Paradise for Kristina, Danielle, and most importantly, the viewers.