"It's so hot outside, you can fry an egg on the sidewalk."
LIES, I tell you, LIES.
We're in the midst of a brutal heatwave here, so what better way to make the best of it than try to cook an egg on the driveway? As it turns out, there are an infinite number of better ways to spend an entire afternoon.
A surprisingly large number (94%) of my Instagram followers voted "yes" on my poll to see if this would work. Apparently, I'm not the only person who has been lied to.
The Process
There was not much forethought put into this. It was hot, and I had free time, so why not crack an egg on outside and see what would happen. I grabbed an egg from the refrigerator and walked out to the driveway. I found a nice hot patch that was in direct sunlight, and cracked the egg.
Nothing happened right away. It ran a little bit, and then just sat there. It was not cooking, or doing anything. I looked like a fool, and was trying to figure out what I would say if a neighbor saw me.
I just waited, alternated between going inside the house to cool off, and staring at the egg.
After about two or three hours, the egg finally started to cook. The white became slightly cloudy, and was stick to the touch. It was by no means cooked, and there was no way I was going to be able to flip it or pick it up.
Six hours later, I finally gave up and scooped the mess off the driveway. The yolk was also slightly cooked, but it was definitely not safe to eat, and the top of it was hard to the touch.
Experiment over. Enough bug bites and sweat had been endured in the failed execution of this project.
What Went Wrong
Thirty minutes in, I decided to consult the internet to find out what I was doing wrong. As it turns out, I was destined to fail from the beginning.
According to the good people of the internet, a cooking surface needs to be about 150 degrees Fahrenheit to properly cook an egg, and it's highly unlikely that a common street surface will get that hot. My egg never got hotter than 120 degrees, according to the meat thermometer I used. I also lost direct sunlight after a while, and the surface began to cool down where I could actually touch it.
You might be able to make it work if you pre-heat some tin foil outside for about 20 minutes before, or use a variety of other pre-made contractions including a solar oven. But in my opinion, that ruins the magic of just cracking an egg on the ground, and trying to see if it will cook.
It didn't help that Maryland is super humid, as this might work better in dry heat.
Stay cool this summer, and just make some poached eggs the next time you want eggs for breakfast. Stick to celebrating Independence Day on July 4, and not National Fry An Egg On The SideWalk Day.