Weddings are glorious events where true love is showcased. Too bad it's a completely different story when you're a bridesmaid, because you have to make sure everything is stress-free and perfect for the bride. I remember freaking out about the tiniest things, like the color of my teeth, or how I should stand in photos. It all matters.
After contemplating millions of possibilities for grooming myself and being the perfect bridesmaid, detoxing my insides of all the bad stuff was on the top of my list. I consulted my mother and she recommended drinking a mixture of sea salt and water. She called it the "sea salt and water diet". Pretty clever right?
The Salt Water Flush is an old school cleanse, associated with the Master Cleanse, that helps create on-demand bowel movements. It consists of drinking an 8-ounce glass of warm water, with about 2-3 spoons of sea salt in it. The salty drink is supposed to move your bowels, making you poop out all of the toxic stuff.
After preparing my drink, I took a sip and shuddered at the taste. It was not my cup of tea.
A few minutes of drinking and waiting passed, and it felt like nothing was happening. So, being the impatient person that I am, I decided to add four more spoons of salt into my drink. Proud and oblivious, I chugged that baby down.
"I'll just drink this and wait an hour for it to kick in," I thought to myself.
But I Was Wrong, So Wrong
Not even a minute after drinking my well-thought-out creation, I was sprinting to the restroom at full speed. If you've seen the film Bridesmaids, I felt exactly like Megan when she got food poisoning from that restaurant.
Every second was unbearable. The whole bathroom was spinning, I wanted to hurl and my body was sweating profusely. I yelled out, "Why did I do this to myself?"
I legit felt like the grim reaper was going to come out and say "hey" to me at any minute. I didn't want to die on the toilet. Dying there would most likely result in someone discovering me half naked. I didn't want to be found like that. I would be embarrassed for all eternity.
Feeling betrayed and defeated by my own actions, I ended up falling asleep on the toilet for about half an hour. From that day forward I swore to never put salt on anything I eat or drink. I would much rather pole volt myself off a cliff than to do that again.
Although I hated this experience, I realized the importance of having patience. Things should just come naturally and never be forced.
*Disclaimer: Drinking saltwater can have serious side effects and we do not promote it as a detox.