When did I become a hater of love? I caught myself staring at my section, full of couples, all deeply gazing into one another’s eyes, holding hands under the table, absorbed by a bubble of love. I was angry with a bitter contempt toward anyone with an open tab, ready to throw my apron off and spend the rest of my night by myself. That was my third year as a waitress on Valentine’s Day.
I can tell you when I became a hater of love: It started my fourth year of being a server, when I not only began dealing with the usual annoyances of the Hallmark-advertised holiday, but when I realized how the service industry takes a turn for the worse on the fateful evening of February 14 every year. While for couples, Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to celebrate and emphasize their connection with one another, it’s time we flip the script and look at what is happening to the person serving them that evening.
According to Stiven, my co-worker and veteran server of seven years, “Valentine’s Day is the worst holiday to work. The restaurant fills up all at the same time, but nobody is consuming anything because they want to take the evening slowly. It’s overwhelming with no reward at the end.”
To better accommodate the higher volumes of couples entering, servers are often required to split the larger tables in their sections into smaller ones, creating more tables to serve with less of an opportunity to sell a higher bill. Tables that could originally seat four to five people are now awkwardly taken apart, placed uncomfortably close to each other, and only hold two at a time. Ultimately, the sections double in size, yet rarely yield a significantly higher number in sales and tips.
My fourth Valentine’s Day as a waitress somehow became a worse experience, replacing my disdain for the excessive love I was witness to the previous year with a horror by couples who clearly weren’t in love. I stood by the bar, eyeing the door as partners flooded in for their six o’clock reservations, heels clicking against the floor. As I approached my section, I was disoriented by the silence, couples grimacing at one another, gripping their menus until their knuckles were white.
“Why is everyone fighting tonight?” I relayed to the other servers as I punched begrudgingly-ordered appetizers into the computer.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, all of my tables are nice,” my co-worker responded.
By chance, my section was filled with couples who were all obviously unhappy for one reason or another. I stood uncomfortably with my pen and paper as they snapped at each other, urging the other to make a decision faster, telling them they didn’t need another drink, eager to pay the bill and leave. Whether they actually wanted to leave with one another, I doubt it. The discomfort from my tables worked like osmosis and made my night excruciating as I managed bad attitudes, rude answers, and irritation with one another that reflected in how they spoke and acted with me. It added to my list of why working Valentine’s Day as a server was beyond difficult as handling time management for agitated guests was hardly appealing.
This year, as the restaurant I work at discusses what promotions are going to be rolled out, what foods can actually be cut into a believable heart shape, and how many desserts the kitchen should prepare ahead of time, I had to question whether I really am a hater of love or if I am just on the front lines of a restaurant. On any other day of the year, when a couple comes in and they smile at one another, their love ultimately makes my night better. As a server however, I am perturbed by the difficulties that parallel the higher expectations of the evening. It’s the service industry; it is naturally expected that service and care for the clientele is elevated to the best level, as that is what they are purchasing. But this year, I implore people to take the opportunity and remember that the person serving you doesn’t have the chance to be with the one they love, or enjoying a glass of champagne, or even getting a taste of the dozen of warm heart-shaped lava cakes they serve that evening. Valentine’s Day isn’t just a dining experience for the diner, but also the person serving them. Treat them with the love and respect that you would your partner, and maybe one bitter waitress will grow to love the holiday by next year.