My name is Erin Haydon, otherwise known as the idiot who took on the Blazin' Wing Challenge at Buffalo Wild Wings. I can easily say it was one of the worst experiences of my whole entire life.
First of all, if you have never heard of the Blazin' Buffalo sauce, it is 70 times hotter than a regular jalapeño, and on the fancy Scoville Scale it's a 200,000 to 350,000 depending on the season of the pepper. Absurd, I know.
So it's pretty easy to say that this challenge was not exactly built for me, as the only spicy thing I put in my mouth is Frank's Hot Sauce. This challenge consists of eating 12 wings in under six minutes, all of which are drenched in this questionable sauce. The Blazin' Buffalo sauce is actually in the rankings of the hottest sauces ever, which was terrifying to say the least.
I love meat, don’t get me wrong. I also adore Buffalo Wild Wings. But I won't lie to you all, this Buffalo Wild Wings was packed and service was taking absolutely forever. A starving anaconda's victim probably had more wiggle room inside than I did inside this restaurant.
So I dragged my friend Alessia along and we waited to get a table, where we then asked to do this unquestionable challenge. The waitress could assume that the slim girl next to me was not doing this challenge (although she can unpredictably swallow a burger whole), but rather that I wanted to do it.
Apparently I was supposed to sign a waiver explaining the rules, but I was never given one. Buffalo Wild Wings let me down without the waiver, but because I did my research like a true college student begging for a degree, I found out the rules prior. Namely, I couldn't drink water during the challenge, use additional sauces, vomit, wipe my hands on a napkin, and I had to remove all the meat with only my mouth.
All the rules sounded good to my incredibly arrogant and extremely underprepared self. And so when the waitress returned with these dangerous wings, whose sauce can apparently wear away metal surfaces, she also so kindly returned with a look of disgust as I eagerly gave her a chipmunk smile.
She started the 6-minute clock whilst standing in terror as the sauce went all over my mouth. One wing done. Second wing almost done—but nope. A look of horror went over my face as Alessia tried to chant me on to keep going, and the elderly couple sitting next to us saw my hope completely fade as I called the challenge off.
Burning. Throbbing. Two of the only words that can so barely explain the pain. It was absolutely awful. Yes, I did cry because I genuinely thought death was near. And yes, I did sprint to the bathroom to promptly vomit because my little stomach could not handle the heat.I thought the pain would be over after the 20 minutes of guzzling Pepsi and milk, but alas, it wasn’t. Because I am the most disgusting eater, the burning was now on my skin, and when I went to shower after exiting the restaurant my face was on fire. Absolute and complete fire.
You might be totally fine if you try this challenge. I definitely recommend it. Weirder now that I actually say that, but reflecting upon the experience, it was quite something. You need to totally and hundred percent try it. It's an experience. That’s truly all I can say.
My name is still Erin Haydon, and I am still the idiot who tried and failed to finish the Blazin' Wing Challenge. I'm really sorry that there is no happy ending to this. I wish I could say I'm a Blazin' Wing Challenge survivor, but sadly, I am not.