TTYL extremely uneconomical Neutrogena on-the-spot treatment cream. There’s a fresh and affordable way to disencumber yourself of that eyesore on your chin and get this… you can eat it when you’re done. Just kidding, that’s NARSHTY. Lemme get to the point: it’s effin’ GAHLIC.

How?

garlic

Gif courtesy of giphy.com

Researchers and doctors reported in Science Daily that allicin – which gives garlic its pungent aroma and flavor – has a powerful antioxidant effect. Antioxidants are the body’s defense system employed to prevent damage to free radicals.

“Basically the allicin compound has to decompose in order to generate a potent antioxidant,” clarifies Dr. Pratt, who is Canada Research Chair in Free Radical Chemistry. “The reaction between the sulfenic acid and radicals is as fast as it can get, limited only by the time it takes for the two molecules to come into contact. No one has ever seen compounds, natural or synthetic, react this quickly as antioxidants.”

So unpeel a clove of garlic and rub it on that blemish just like Farah D (make sure to play “One Dance” while you do it). (Perfect tan not included.)

garlic

Photo by Kai Huang

Or if you have sensitive skin and this burns like piss, then crush a clove of garlic into a paste diluted with ½ cup of wahm wata (warm water for non-massholes). Administer to the face or area of concern (ZIT) with a soft cloth then wash with a gentle cleanser.

This diluted mixture shouldn’t irritate the skin, but Proactive said the same thing and ruined lots of 16-year-old lives so TRUST NO ONE and, if it burns, discontinue use ASAP.