Lifestyle

How to Host a Dinner Party as Told By the Real Housewives

By Sofía Vainesman at Boston University

There are two words every Real Housewives fanatic loves to hear: Dinner. Party. What does a Housewives’ dinner party consist of you might ask? Well it’s a chance for us mere commoners to observe as these ladies of society entertain with grace and class.

(Luann’s song is always a helpful reminder on how to act.)

With the return of the Real Housewives of New York City and the premiere of the Real Housewives of Dallas, it seems only timely for a refresher on proper housewife dinner party etiquette. Dallas, take notes, or there might not be space for you at the next one.

Keep the guest list exclusive to just the Housewives.

No Ramona, because then we get insults like this:

Oooh burn.

If you are inviting someone new, make sure they will be a positive addition.

Mediums are a great +1.

Serve your guests a pre-meal refreshment.

Housewives know how handle their liquor, so there should be no concern.

A single glass of wine or champs will suffice.

Or two…

Or three…

Or maybe even the entire bottle.

Really, no concern.

Dinner should commence with a toast or by saying grace.

Thank you Lisa, that was beautiful.

 Use your best table manners when eating.

RIP Cheshire. Never understood what any of you were saying but I’m sure it was golden.

Serve more drinks to get the party started.

Well if Erika Jayne says so…

Sip it politely like Camille.

Take it back like Lea.

Or peer pressure everyone else like Dorinda.

Keep serving.

Yes, Tamra did say “lit.”

Just keep serving.

The drinks will ensure that your guests are having a great time.

But sometimes (all of the time), too many drinks may take the party on a turn for the worst.

Be prepared for drama.

No, Dina. That’s not how these things work.

Have prepared insults ready beforehand.

Honorary Real Housewife Faye knows how to name-drop in hers.

Kenya is the house police.

The Countess just says it like it is.

Gina wants you to feel as worthless as possible.

Develop your own style of wine glass-throwing.

Here are some legendary styles if you’re stumped.

“The OC Classic”

“Flick of The Wrist”

“Turnpike Toss”

“Choke N’ Smash”

If you’ve just had it with someone, politely ask them to leave.

When you still aren’t getting the attention you deserve simply throw your prosthetic leg on the table.

Le Cirque will never be the same again.

Finally, if all else fails… Flip. The. Table.

#neverforget

Certified Bravo addict? Read on:

• The Best Drinks to Serve at Your Real Housewives Marathon
• Top Chef’s Gail Simmons Dishes on Weird Foods, Traveling, and What She Ate in College
• The 9 Stages of Cooking on Your Own, as Told by the Real Housewives