*Cue Kristen Bell voice*
Hey there Upper East Siders. Spoon University here, your one and only source into the scandalously delicious treats of New York City’s five boroughs.
And we have the biggest news ever.
We’ve gone ahead and reimagined all of your favorite (and maybe some of your least favorite) Gossip Girl characters as some of New York City’s most decadent desserts. The likenesses are uncanny, see for yourself.
Blair Waldorf – Rose Petal Macarons, Ladurée
Queen B is the epitome of class, style, and grace. And so, what better than this delicate French cookie to represent her. Much like a macaron, Blair has multiple layers. Two crunchy, sassy cookie layers protecting a vulnerable, rose-flavored inside. Plus, it’s no secret that she is a macaron lover, seeing as Chuck once flew to Paris just to buy them for her.
Chuck Bass – Tartaletta di Cioccolata, Costata
Chuck settles for nothing less than the best. He is suave and debonaire, with a bit of a dark side. This deeply dark chocolate torte is sweet, but of course not too sweet, and effortlessly sophisticated. And the gold leaf topping is perfectly symbolic of his high-class status.
Serena Van Der Woodsen – Cronut, Dominique Ansel Bakery
Much like the croissant-doughnut hybrid that people line up for day after day, Serena is a hot commodity. Serena and the Cronut are each highly sought after, yet highly elusive. They’re both kinda flaky, too.
Nate Archibald – Deep Fried Oreos, Cafeteria
As Gossip Girl’s resident pretty-boy stoner, these gourmet munchies seem extremely fitting for Nate. Also, everybody loves Oreos. Just like everybody loves Nate.
Dan Humphrey – Package of Chips Ahoy, Duane Reade
Dan begins his days as Lonely Boy, but we eventually learn that he is the ultimate insider. The Chips Ahoy cookie is a casual one, much like Dan is a casual guy. And in the same way that Dan as Gossip Girl seems to be everywhere, Chips Ahoy cookies can be found at every Duane Reade on every street corner of the city.
Vanessa Abrams – Green Tea & Black Sesame Swirl Soft Serve, Cafe Zaiya
Vanessa has always been a little bit different, from her home-schooling to her unusual fashion choices to her eventual departure to a foreign country. This obscurely flavored soft serve seems much more her speed than any bougie Upper East Side pastry.
Jenny Humphrey – “Hit Me” Chocolate Cake, Catch
This specialty dessert has a hard outer shell, much like the thick skin that Jenny eventually grows in order to take on the mean girls of the Upper East Side. But this shell melts into a molten chocolate heaven when hot fudge is poured all over it, revealing a soft ice cream center. Much like the sweet and soft Little J who dreams of becoming queen one day.
Georgina Sparks – Chocolate Chip Walnut Cookie, Levain Bakery
Upon first meeting her, most people believe that Georgina is a sweet and wholesome young girl. Your average chocolate chip cookie, you might say. But once people get just one bite of her, they realize that she is F**KING NUTS.
Dorota Kishlovsky – Sacher Torte, The Hungarian Pastry Shop
Dorota, one of the show’s sweetest and most good-natured characters, would be sacher torte, a delicious cake made from chocolate and apricots. This Eastern European treat is an homage to her Polish heritage.
Rufus Humphrey – Waffle Ice Cream Sandwich, Mikey Likes It Ice Cream
Because Rufus would be absolutely nothing without his waffles.