I’m a single, 24-year old girl living in NYC, and I’m loving it. But you know what else I love? Chicken wings. There will be free wings at Hooters on Valentine's Day for single people...but there’s a super annoying catch.
I don’t mind being single on Valentine’s Day. For me, it’s just another excuse to drink lots of wine and have a fun girls night out (or in, depending on how lazy we are). Rather than feel alone, I feel kind of liberated on V-Day. I don’t have to worry about shaving my legs for some dude, or making reservations at an overcrowded restaurant. But Hooters might be more packed than normal this year, thanks to its promotion for free wings to singles.
On February 14th, Hooters is encouraging broken hearted singles to come into the restaurant and destroy a picture of their ex in exchange for free wings. Seriously, buy 10 boneless wings, put a pic of your ex through a shredder (courtesy of Hooters), and get 10 more boneless wings for free. At first, I was like that’s pretty dope. But then I realized—I don’t have an ex whose picture I can shred…
It’s pretty unfair actually. The promotion is already highlighting the fact that I’m single. And on top of that, it’s reminding me that I’ve been single for a while, and that I’ll probably fulfill my destiny of becoming an old cat lady. Even if I had a recent ex’s picture to shred, I wouldn’t want to rip it up. One, because I would have to go to CVS and print a picture. And two, why waste my energy on the past?
If you think about it, this promotion is encouraging singles to channel their anger into the past. I get that this could be liberating for some people, but why would I want to remember someone who f*cked me over for free wings? Ok, yeah free wings. But still, can’t I just cut out a picture of a really hot Abercrombie model, claim him to be my ex, and put it in the shredder so that I can get my damn free wings? That could work.
As fun as this promotion could be, I don’t support it. It’s not fair for people like me who don’t have an ex's pic to shred. And even if I did, I wouldn’t want that bad karma in my life. Leave the past in the past and move the f*ck on. Make your own damn chicken wings.
So while I'm not sure of the complete details of this whole promotion (like would you have to tell your whole sob story to the waitress? Or can I seriously bringing in a pic of a hot dude from a magazine and claim him to be my ex who ran over my cat?)—Hooters will comfort all of the single people out there with free wings. While I'll be over here celebrating Valentine's Day like any other day.