We all know pets with food names. “Oreo” and “Brownie” are at the very top of the most common dog names ever. I don’t know about you, but I feel the need for some creativity in this category.
Recently, I was at my local grocery store when a kid accidentally knocked over a display of canned garbanzo beans. Never mind the mess in the store, it was in this moment that I realized how cute the name “Garbanzo” would be. The rest of my grocery trip consisted of me making this list of food names for pets and/or kids that I really don’t hate (as much as I kind of wanted to).
1. Garbanzo
In honor of the kid in the store. He will forever be in my heart.
2. Linguine
The chef from that great movie with the cooking mouse was named Linguine…just food for thought.
3. Turmeric
Just think of it. They could go by “Ricky”!
4. Cayenne
True story: I couldn’t pronounce “Kanye” correctly, so for a while I called him Cayenne West.
5. Pepper
Scene: first day of kindergarten. The teacher is taking attendance. “Pepper!” “Here!” Teacher replies, “wow I love your name.” “Thank you! My parents named after a common household spice.”
6. Kale
Kaley, Kalen, Kaleen…the possibilities are endless!
7. Romaine
Like Roman but not?
8. Marsala
Marsala the golden retriever. Now that the image is there it will never go away. #SorryNotSorry
9. Macchiato
This is a name for the pets of the Bad and Boujees. Or the Basics. Or 13 year old frappuccino lovers.
10. Mochi
Imagine a super smol fluff ball of a pup just snuggling up to you. That pup deserves to have a smol cuddly name such as Mochi.
11. Ginger or Ginger-Root (if you’re really fancy)
Okay but we all know or knew someone named Ginger.
12. Chamomile
“Chamomile will you please help your brother with his homework?”
13. Melon
“Low key have always wanted to have a cat named Melon.” – Lindsey S., American University
14. Olive
Family meals at the Olive Garden will be more special than ~ever~.
15. Kumquat
Kumquats are really small so this name should go to a really big animal, naturally.
16. Kiwi
My grandma had a kitty named Kiwi. He was a champ.
17. Lima Bean
Honestly, there are a lot of beans that would make great names. I personally imagine a dalmatian named Lima Bean, but maybe that’s just me.
18. Seltzer
For the pets or kids with the bubbliest of personalities.
19. Kombucha
These aren’t normal kids or pets, they’re cool, hipstery kids or pets.
20. 100% Whole Wheat Split Top Bread
Hopefully, this list helps pet parents and regular parents who are struggling to find creative names. If Gwyneth Paltrow can name her daughter Apple, I don’t see why “Kumquat” is off the table.