This holiday season, Spoon teamed up with Fancy to give you a killer list of gifts to get for anyone you could possibly think of – the geek, the fratstar, the hipster, the classic college kid, the wild card and even the mom.
But let’s say you didn’t read that article (sucks to suck) and instead went out and bought your friend a really awful sweater that will definitely be too big. There’s no sense in grieving over that sunk cost. Look on the bright side, at least you didn’t buy any of these ridiculous food-related gifts that are sure to either deplete your bank account or cost you some friends.
Sterling Silver Starbucks Card
This premium Sterling Silver Starbucks gift card is unlike anything on this list of unbelievably cool and reasonably priced items. For the small price of $200, you can purchase this limited edition item for that special someone, and he or she will get to enjoy $50 worth of Starbucks coffee. Just kidding, you can’t. Because it’s limited edition, so it obviously already sold out.
What’s dry, filled with fruit and nuts, the one dessert item always left untouched and given to you every year by your least favorite aunt? No one likes fruit cake, so if you were thinking of giving this as a gift, maybe you should think again. But if you enjoy showing off your culinary skills, then you should check out this chocolate fruit cake recipe bound to eliminate any negative memories you have associated with this dessert.
There’s nothing worse than placing a banana into your back pack, only to pull it out during class to find that it’s been completely mushed. Now there are banana guts all over your biology notebook, and you don’t have a snack. Despite the frustration of this catastrophe, no one would be too pleased to receive a banana bunker this holiday.
Personalized Nutella Jar
There’s nothing quite as delicious as the chocolately-hazelnut blend of Nutella. When you bring a jar of Nutella to your suite, the last thing you want is your greedy suitemates stealing spoonfuls when you’re not home. Giving a personalized Nutella jar may seem like a smart way to help someone avoid this situation, but it’s not. In order to avoid having the guilt of throwing away this artful creation, your gift-receiver will end up longingly staring at the jar of Nutella rather than eating it and will eventually resent you for the lack of edible Nutella in their lives.
Chihuahua Taco Holder
This may seem like a cute house gift, but it’s not. “I really wish there was a dog-shaped place for me to rest my taco,” said no one ever.
Christmas-Themed Bottle Decorators
These bottle-toppers may seem like decorative and festive items, but in reality, no one wants their drinking to be obstructed or to remind them of that awful present from Grandma.
Eternal Ice Cubes
It’s true that college kids don’t usually have ice, but no one really needs ice in their drinks. Even if your roommate has been hinting that your parties should be a little classier, he or she probably didn’t mean you should throw cold rocks into people’s drinks.
Bacon in a Fancy, Velvet Box
If you hand someone a black velvet box and expect them to be okay with receiving bacon, you should probably reevaluate who your friends are.