Dating in college is no piece of cake—for me at least. While juggling mountains of reading assignments, problem sets, club meetings and social events, it's hard to fit in the time it takes to put yourself out there. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not as simple as just swiping right.
Guys in college are like Oreo flavors. It's easy to come across a new variety, but while one fancy flavor may live up to its name (read: Red Velvet), others will fail to meet your big expectations or end up tasting mostly like the same old chocolate and vanilla.
To top it off, your favorite new flavor may only stick around for a season. Puns intended. But don't worry, with the new school year just under way, now is the perfect time to taste test.
1. Original: The Nice Guy
Oh, the nice guy—the one you actually considered worthy of an introduction to your parents. Like the classic Oreo, he was sweet and treated you well, but lacked an interesting personality. He wasn’t the worst; he wasn’t the best. The relationship was good for a while, but then you were ready to move onto bigger and better things… like, you know, those double-stuffed Oreos.
2. Red Velvet: The Player
He was arguably the most attractive of your college boyfriends. He could smooth talk his way out of any situation and convinced you of your value to him with an over-compensating slew of text messages or a bouquet of flowers whenever you expressed the slightest concern. You always felt that something wasn’t right (I mean an Oreo can't be quite like cake, can it?), but kept coming back for more.
3. Peanut Butter: The Frat Bro
Partying was his number one priority (and then you, of course). The jelly to his peanut butter consisted mostly of his frat brothers—a relationship so exclusive, it was hard for you to really compete. Like the people-pleasing peanut butter Oreo, he was always down to hang out with anyone, but he spread himself thin across a ton of (mostly superficial) friendships.
4. Cinnamon Bun: The One That Got Away
Your love was something out of a movie. You were his Allie and he was your Noah; the perfect combination of sweet and sexy. The middle of your relationship was the true heyday, but the two of you eventually drifted apart and the whole thing ended with regret. This guy brings on a sense of nostalgia, of romance, and adventure. Just like the limited edition Cinnamon Bun Oreo, he was amazing, but it wasn't destined for forever.
5. Lemon: The Burnout
The burnout. The loser. The "Why did I like him again?" He was supposed to be the one you "turned around" with your sheer beauty, inside and out, and your big heart. But he lacked true life aspirations and spent most of his days smoking or drinking alone in his apartment. Like the odd aftertaste of a lemon Oreo, the relationship left you sour about all the time and energy you spent trying to bring out the sweetness in this hopelessly acidic guy.
6. Mint: The Intellectual
This guy was a refreshing change of pace, like that unexpected freshness in your first bite of a mint Oreo. You could stay up for hours with him just talking about life. He liked to go out and have fun, but also knew when to be serious; he was an intellectual with big dreams and goals to pursue. When you needed a late-night study buddy, an entertaining dance partner or just a listening ear, he was there.
Whether you're heartbroken over a Red Velvet Oreo, or are still daydreaming about your long lost Cinnamon Bun cookie, chances are you've had a sweet tooth for one of these flavors at least once in your college career.