Lifestyle

9 Everclear Stories on Reddit That Will Make You Question Your Faith in Humanity

By Spencer Dukoff at Spoon HQ

If you're a fan of questionable decision-making, self-destruction, or petty arson, you might also be a fan of Everclear. For the uninitiated (seriously, consider yourself one of the lucky ones), Everclear is a rectified spirit, meaning it's ethanol that's been distilled several times. You know, the same ethanol that's used as a biofuel additive in gasoline. Delicious. 

It's pretty much 190-proof (or 151-proof if you're a total wuss), semi-poison that you'd only willingly imbibe if you were massively compensating or didn't know any better. The more potent version is actually illegal in a handful of states. 

With that being said, there are plenty of those exact types of people hanging out on Reddit trading Everclear stories. Behold, a few of the best (read: worst) of them.

1. The Worst Religion Ever

If wine is the blood of Christ, then Everclear is the overly hydrated piss of Satan.

2. An Anti-Power Move

I remember my first beer. You won't remember your first Powerline because it will also be your last Powerline.

3. The Patient Stoner

If you're down to wait 3 months to get "drunk and stoned as shit," you obviously know how to party, bruh. 

4. On-the-Go

Son, when you grow up, you can be whatever you want. A doctor, a firefighter, an astronaut. You can even go apeshit if you really believe in yourself.

5. Please Don't

No, meanMrKetchup, NO!!! Don't even think about it. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no. NO!

6. Harvey Dent

Lesson learned: chicks don't dig it when dudes burn half their face off trying to be a bro. 

7. Feminism: The Equality of the Sexes

Shattering the glass ceiling while raising a glass? That's girl power. 

8. Blinded Me With Science

NERD ALERT.

9. Talk to the Hand

Sounds like it's time for this dude to find some new friends.