Dearest, beloved Dunkin’ Donuts – we love you not because you are good, but because you taste like the Northeast.

You taste like the Patriots; the Red Sox; like “You talkin’ to me?!

milk, coffee, tea, ice, cream, sweet
Jacqueline Canino

Your colors are bright and social media-friendly. Your donuts are picturesque and your coffee is best with milk, packed with a dangerous amount of caffeine

Dunkin’? Double-D? The Dunk? There are a million-and-one affectionate nicknames for you.

Starbucks? Bitch, please.

We don’t need that fancy-ass mocha-latté-double-twist liberal elitist bull crap.

tea, ice, coffee, beer
Amelia Bowen

We know that they’re called munchkins, not donut holes. And while we shit on you endlessly, we will defend you to a west-coaster within an inch of death.

How dare they?! They know not your majesty, your innate ability to enchant,  to disavow your own questionable quality. 

chocolate, ice cream
Amelia Bowen

Wherefore Art thou, Dunkin’?

A New England staple? A cultural icon? You are a rose; nay, you are a daisy (a far less pretentious flower). 

tea, beer
Amelia Bowen

No one knows you like we do. You start our day; you ride with us in our cars and fuel our spirit. You are our rock, served with three creams and three sugars, iced, in 30 degree weather.

I won’t say America Runs on Dunkin’ – but New England certainly does.