If the motto “work hard, play hard” doesn’t apply to the Franklin and Marshall College experience, I don’t know what does. It’s no question that the diplomats like to get a little rowdy, and what better way to end a night of debauchery than with a hot mess of a meal you made while out for the count. We asked students to share their most epic drunk or high eats adventures. These are their stories:

“It once took me over an hour to make a quesadilla. I kept checking the oven to see if it was done but I never turned it on. Not one of my prouder moments.” 

“I made an awesome bowl of spaghetti and meatballs that turned into floor spaghetti and meatballs but that I consumed anyway.” 

“I love a good drunk nacho after a fun night, but this one time I only had tortilla chips so I put some pizza sauce and mozzarella on them and it did not sit well.” 

“The one meal I make is fried rice. I make it so often when I get home it’s second nature at this point, but last week I had fried rice in the fridge and fried it again. I refried fried-rice. I thought I was being clever but it was so bad.”


Photo by Benjamin Martin

“You know that moment when you get back and you don’t have an ounce of food in your room but you want anything but that old bag of baby carrots in the back of your fridge? Yeah. The worst time that happened I was munching on goldfish and straight up hot sauce. Like really fiery hot sauce and a child’s snack, because I’m an adult.” 

“I like to think of myself as a creative cook, and it really shows when I’m drunk. I once made Kraft mac and cheese but I decided last minute that I really hate the macaroni noodles so I made spaghetti instead and put the cheese sauce on that. Definitely a good decision!” 

“Tortilla chips and whipped cream. I forget why exactly because we definitely had better things to eat with chips but we landed on whipped cream.”

“The first time I ever smoked I ate 20 Oreos. Oh yeah, deep fried Oreos.”

Dillazza: Quesadilla filled with ham and cheese, covered in tomato sauce, cheese, and fried chicken.”

“Be careful about getting too drunk around Thanksgiving. I drank an entire pint of room temperature gravy like it was water.” 

“I was drunk and dinner needed to happen so I opened the fridge and I said…hmm…pork chops. I normally boil them but then I said fuck this we’re going fancy so I sliced it like bacon and put in on a pan, poured some wine on it, and it was delicious” 

“There was a point where I was convinced Lucky Charms marshmallows would improve the flavor of everything I ate, so I put it on a chicken pizza.” 


Photo by Benjamin Martin

“I put ramen in milk once to see if it would taste like cereal…It doesn’t.” 

“Cheez-Its and honey. Don’t knock it until like try it. The sweetness of the honey muddles the saltiness of the Cheez-It while allowing for the two flavors to fuse into the perfect blend of sweet and savory.” 

“I woke up two weekends ago in Boston with a half-eaten boar’s head picante salami in my pocket. Not the first time that’s happened. And sophomore year I was blazed out of my mind and wanted to eat my delicious new spicy salsa but had no tortilla chips, so I dipped a Nutrigrain bar in salsa and killed a half box of them that way.”

“Instant mac and cheese using beer instead of water.” 

“One time I blacked out and woke up with an empty 12-count box of Cosmic Brownies. I blamed my roommate for eating them with his friends but I know I ate all of them.”