When I was an incoming freshman, I thought dining halls were going to be super cool. In my mind, I was envisioning something like a mall food court, but with hot guys my age. Unfortunately, I was wrong.
While not all college dining halls are bad, most of them are pretty sub par. Next to no healthy options, food that gives you indigestion, and $8 mediocre sub sandwiches pretty much sum up the college dining hall experience.
It may be hard to believe, but sometimes, it can get even worse than that. I asked college students across the country to share their unbelievable but true dining hall horror stories, and they did not disappoint.
Healthy Options… Riiiight
“Dining hall food messed with my stomach so bad my freshman year. There’s no way that that food is good for humans based on how much time I spent in the bathroom. Probably TMI, but it was seriously horrifying.”
Clean Up in Aisle 3
“One time I flooded the self-serve waffle iron everywhere and had to clean it up myself. It took forever and was humiliating.”
Drive By? More Like Juice By
“Once, I was going into the dining hall to get juice or something. As I walked into the door, a girl crashed into me and spilled hot water (from one of those plastic cups) all over my arm and sweater. Instead of apologizing, she kind of giggled and walked away.”
Praying to the Porcelain Dining Hall Gods
“I’ve had my share of Saturday/Sunday morning hungover toilet hugs in the dining hall… Pretty horrifying.”
Dating Face Palm
“Okay, this isn’t directly related to food, but there was this guy that I’d always see whenever I was at the dining hall my freshman year. I thought he was so cute, and one day, my roommate decided to make a move for me.
She went over and sat down with him while I was getting my food, and then I joined them. It was kind of awkward, but I figured that he might just be shy. When I got up to put my tray away, he told my roommate that he had a girlfriend. Talk about awkward.”
Caterpillar Salad For One
“I got a dead caterpillar in my pre-packaged salad once. I don’t eat salad very often now, but when I do, I always check for bugs. Talk about a scarring experience.”
Extreme Toasting
“Once I almost set the dining hall on fire by leaving toast in the toaster for a liiiiiitttle too long. The smoke alarms went off and everything.
Worst part of the story was that the dining hall was attached to a dorm AND it was a Sunday morning. So when the fire alarms went off, they had to evacuate the dining hall AND the adjacent dorm. Let’s just say I was everyone’s least favorite person that morning.”
The Gift That Keeps Giving
“I got food poisoning from the dining hall the night before finals… I also got food poisoning from the dining hall three times in a quarter.”
Should’ve Gone Back to Bed
“I woke up early one morning so I’d have time to eat a nice breakfast. All proud of myself for a. waking up, and b. going to eat a super healthy meal, I made my way to my dining hall. I asked the cook to make my eggs over hard because I’m not a huge fan of runny yolks.
When he served them to me, not only were the yolks runny, but the eggs themselves were still raw. I kid you not, he looked at me and creepily said, ‘Enjoy.’ I didn’t bother with waking up early for the rest of the year.”
Surprise Meatless Monday
“I waited half an hour in line for chicken stir-fry, and when it was my turn to place my order, they told me that they’d run out of meat and were shutting down for the night. It was *super* awesome.”
Dining Hall or Hardware Store?
“There was a literal screw found in the chicken at UChicago’s Bartlett dining hall last year. A whole screw.“
Trip Trip Boom
“I had one of those stereotypical, totally dramatic movie style moments my freshman year. I was walking, food tray in hand, to the table that my friends were sitting at. On the way there, I tripped on the corner of a rug that was flipped up.
I’d like to say that I caught my balance, but I full-on wiped out. Tray flying through the air, food going everywhere, me going down, *literally* everyone staring in silence. Yeah. Not my best moment.”
If you’re not convinced that you need to drop your meal plan and start shopping at your local grocer, you’re stronger than I am.