The holiday season is nothing without pie. Yet, every year families are torn apart trying to decide which ones should grace the table. Fear no more because here’s a highly scientific ranking of pie that can definitely be cited in your graduate school dissertation or at your next family argument about Thanksgiving. See where your favorite pie ranks:

17. Mincemeat Pie 

First of all, what a misleading name. Mincemeat pie is mostly apples and figs, with just a lil bit of beef fat thrown in for some meaty goodness. Clearly, it cannot be trusted. Bye.

16. Pecan Pie 


Photo by Jessica Payne

Hear me out, diehard fans. Pecans in their own right are delicious. However, pecan pie is usually desecrated with cloyingly sweet corn syrup, earning it a low spot. Cut back on that and then maybe we’ll talk. Or make them into muffins like this.

15. Coconut Cream Pie

Is that grated coconut or sawdust in there? That weird texture is not conducive to joyous pie eating. Definitely one of those desserts that gets picked up at the grocery store while running late for a dinner party.

14. Sweet Potato Pie

If I had my way you’d be number 1, but sadly, most people think you’re just the less-loved cousin of pumpkin. Sweet potatoes, it looks like your only place in this cruel world is to be covered in marshmallows at Thanksgiving.

13. Banana Cream Pie

…But first, dessert ??? Most amazing banana cream pie topped with a caramel drizzle. @hillstonerestaurants

A photo posted by ?Nicole Glass ? (@nicolesslaw) on

Reminiscent of banana pudding, but also weirdly seems like a pie only eaten by old ladies having a tea party. Good? Sure, but not good enough to break the top 10.

12. Lemon Meringue Pie


Photo by Jocelyn Hsu

Thank you, Amelia Bedelia, for introducing children of the world to lemon meringue pie. It’s tart and fluffy all at once, and the tower of meringue looks damn impressive. Downside: Meringue can be difficult to master for an amateur baker, so best to leave this one to the pros. Make your own lemon meringue pie like this.

11. Chocolate Pecan Pie

You have redeemed yourself, pecan pie. Adding chocolate to almost anything is a surefire to win fans. You’re movin’ on up in the world.

10. Cherry Pie 

Arguably the most picturesque pie. Another tart/sweet combo that wins over the hearts of many in just a few bites. However, it loses points because pitting cherries takes an eternity.

9. Chocolate Pie


Photo by Jocelyn Hsu

Chocolate, you damn crowd pleaser. The only people that don’t like chocolate in a pie are strange and probably plotting against us all. You can make your own like this.

8. Chicken Pot Pie 


Photo by Peter Cheng

The perfect food to warm you up when winter is coming. Chicken pot pie, you may have once been overshadowed by every fruit pie known to man, but not anymore. It’s time you receive the respect you deserve. You can make your own like this.

7. Key Lime Pie

Nothing beats our #keywest deal, because nothing beats our #keylimepie

A photo posted by Key West Key Lime Pie Co. (@keylimepieco) on

It tastes like spring break in your mouth. Who loves spring break? Everyone. Therefore, key lime pie rocks. Make sure to snag a piece that isn’t dyed sickly green, though. The authentic version is pale yellow.

6. Strawberry Rhubarb Pie

Pie made with l❤️ve #strawberryrhubarb #mamamartha #madewithlove #crumble #sweettooth

A photo posted by My Fairytale ? (@shaeweber) on

A pie to make you sound way classier than you actually are. Strawberries and rhubarb? Definitely fit for royalty. Or make it into a crisp like this.

5. Oreo Pie 


Photo by Xinwei Zeng

The Oreo has often been called the best cookie on earth. Pair it with a luscious cream cheese filling to make a pie that appeases the pickiest of toddlers and crankiest of great-aunts. Or make it super decadent with this peanut butter oreo pie recipe.

4. Berry Pie


Photo by Kristin Brennan

Whether on their own or in any combination, blackberries, strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries make for one hell of a pie. Embrace the beauty of summer and stuff your face with an entire berry pie. No one will notice, since everyone else is doing it, too. Make your own cherry berry pie like this.

3. Pumpkin Pie

Basic bitches rejoice because your favorite pie made the top 3. Rumor has it that if you do not consume at least one pumpkin flavored food each day during fall, sweater weather will cease to exist as we know it. Save us all, eat pumpkin pie. Now you can even take your pumpkin pie on the go like this.

2. Peach Pie 

Undeniable fact: Summer is the best season of the year. Summer is also peak season for one of the best fruits of all time  peaches. Nothing will ever beat picking a sun-warmed peach straight off a tree. Peach pie, we will always love you.

1. Apple Pie 

Always room for PIE… Apple Pie with Salted Caramel Sauce a la vanilla bean mode.

A photo posted by Jules (@julesfood) on

Can I get a USA chant? Thank you apple pie for being patriotic and delicious all at once. A pie with that kind of resume is a force to be reckoned with, thus earning it the number one spot on this list, in our hearts, and in our stomachs. Apple pie, we salute your timeless, unwavering beauty. You can make your own mini dorm-friendly version here.