Every year, whether I am single, dating, or in a budding romance, February rolls around and I always get antsy. Those heart shaped candies fool no one— they are a vessel for all of my social anxiety. This year, however, Valentine's Day was different. It wasn't because I was in love, but because I was loving myself.
The self love approach towards the "holiday" took away all of the heart-candy anxiety because I was the only person I was trying to impress. I was dressing up to be comfortable with myself. I was eating whatever I wanted, in whatever quantity I wanted. I was going to go to bed at a reasonable time after my date because I am a twenty year old grandma. I was going to enjoy my night without any pressure. I was going to treat myself with all of the love in the world. I was going to have the best Valentine’s Day ever. And guess, what? I did. And I made a damn good pasta in the meantime.
The Outfit
I do not always dress up. In fact, I rarely do. I typically reside in Walmart athleisure outfits that do not match. With this said, I am not opposed to taking my sweet time and getting dolled up— for myself. I have recognized over the years that I truly only enjoy doing my makeup and dressing up if it's willingly— so literally only when I feel like it. Lucky for me, on Valentine’s Day 2021, I felt like it!
I decided on a shiny red off the shoulder top, a black pleated high highwaisted skirt and a pair of leopard print booties would make the evening. I felt confident and alive. Not to mention I loved when I matched the vibe of a "badass romantic" with the dark, festive colors and grunge shoes.
The Food
Probably one of the biggest reasons I love myself is the fact that I can cook a mean meal given any circumstance. When approaching the preparation portion of this very important, and relationship-defining date, I took the classic route— pasta. No, not like spaghetti and meatballs from Lady and the Tramp; we are not lonely here. Lately I have been loving Trader Joes' Cauliflower Gnocchi. This pasta dish was quick, easy, delicious, comforting, and did not leave behind the mess your typical long noodle dish would.
I air fried about one and a half cups of gnocchi at 450 degrees Fahrenheit, then added nutritional yeast, tahini, and my favorite Primal Kitchen marinara sauce. Needless to say I demolished this delicious meal without any hesitation (or leftovers).
Reflection
Real talk, I loved this date because I got to completely focus on myself and what I wanted to do, which is not what I typically associate Valentine's Day with. Recognizing that this was my best Valentine's Day yet gave me some perspective on how I plant to continue living my life. I plan to always do what makes me happy since I am the only person on earth that I will be with every second of every day from birth until death. I might as well be happy, right? I cannot control the people around me, and I cannot control how they respond to my love, but, when it comes to showing myself love, I know exactly where I stand. I am in complete control because I am loving myself to my greatest ability. Moments like this Valentine's Day make me excited for adventures to come.