So you move into your first apartment with your roommates. No dining halls, no meal plan, just you and your kitchen. You decide that you’re going to cook a nice dinner for you and your roomies. Not sure what to expect? Trust the housewives, the only women who are 100% real.
Stage 1: Hopeful Optimism
You’ve made the big announcement that dinner is on you tonight and your roommates couldn’t be more excited. You can turn down any help that’s offered because you got this. This will be the most amazing meal of your life and you can’t wait.
Stage 2: Extreme Determination
It’s recipe hunting time. You get all over Pinterest to find the perfect thing to make. Yeah, it may be a little complicated but you can do it no problem. Print that recipe and make that shopping list.
Stage 3: Shopping Spree
Only the finest ingredients will do for this meal. You’ll go to Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s for only the freshest produce and the most sustainable protein selection. Do you need that $6 bottle of fancy sea salt? You bet your ass you do.
Stage 4: Start The Meal
Here we go. You have your pots and pans, all your ingredients, and an awesome attitude. Start your prep: the slicing and dicing, the baking and the sautéing.
Stage 5: Over It
This is taking too f*cking long. You had no idea this much went into cooking. “This is the reason why restaurants make money,” you think. It’s 5 o’clock and you’re not even done with prep. #overit.
Stage 6: Debate Delivery
It will be just as nice if you order take out for your roomies too, right? Cause this is just too much. They’ll appreciate the gesture and in the end, they’ll still get pizza so whatever.
Stage 7: Gain Confidence
No. No, you started this, and you’re gonna finish it. One little dinner is not going to get the best of you. Jesus take the wheel.
Stage 8: Cook Like A Chef
It’s all starting to come together. Look at the color on that chicken. Those vegetables are cooked to absolute perfection. Take a taste, and realize you are the greatest chef who has ever lived. You should be on the Food Network.
Stage 9: Serve That Bitch
Your roommates are in love with you. Phones are pulled out to capture the beautiful presentation on the plate for Instagram. You’re modest of course, but you know you’re everything.