It's Hate Week and our most hyped game of the season is coming: the Commonwealth Cup. Anyone who claims they're Virginian knows about the Virginia Tech and University of Virginia rivalry. No other Virginia state school match-up even comes close to the kind of rivalry that we have with the Wahoos.
As of 2016, it's been over a decade since UVA has claimed the Commonwealth Cup from Virginia Tech's grasp. We even have a counter showing how long it's been since the Hokies have relinquished our grasp on the Commonwealth Cup to the Cavaliers. And we don't just win in the football aspect. We always go harder than any Wahoo ever.
1. We start tailgating hella early
This year it's a noon game so per tradition, we'll start tailgating at 7 in the morning. It may seem early, but we go hard. It's pretty common to see us drinking 8 hours before kickoff in Blacksburg. Plus, can UVA claim they to do redneck hot tubs like us?
2. There are no "sad fans"
Sad UVA fan has taken on a life of its own over the past year. You don't see any memes of a sad Virginia Tech fan, do you? That's because we pre-game hard enough so that even if we're disappointed at the end of the game, we can all head downtown and drink our sorrows away together.
3. Better engineering = more efficient pre-gaming
It's a given that Hokies are the better engineers. So, it's also a given that we're better at pre-graming: from yucca to communal pots of beer to sangria in our school colors. Plus, we dress for the cold instead of dressing up. "Girls in pearls and guys in ties?" That bull doesn't fly in Blacksburg.
4. We drink from the Commonwealth Cup
After every win (even if it's behind enemy lines) we take the Commonwealth Cup to downtown Blacksburg so the student body can drink from it. Heads up if you're planning to go downtown after this year's game: The Cup always makes an appearance at Big Al's.
5. The presidential turkeys tailgate with us
Obama's final pardoned turkeys Tater and Tot will hold a meet and greet before and during the Commonwealth Cup 2016 game. We can officially say that we tailgate with turkeys that have met the chillest president ever.
6. Our alumni come tailgate and it's all-you-can-eat
There's no university that tailgates like the Hokie Nation. Our alumni love us so much that the parking lots are completely full of tailgates with enough food for what seems like the whole student body. You'll never leave one of our tailgates hungry. Hell, even our university hosts a "tailgate" for alumni.
7. We're a drinking town with a football problem
Blacksburg's unofficial motto is "a drinking town with a football problem." You can even buy that on a shirt. No one beats us at a tailgate or drinking during the game. It's gotten to the point where sneaking in alcohol to Lane Stadium is nigh impossible.
8. There's no happy hour like Hokie House happy hour
Hokie House is the only bar in Blacksburg named after our mascot, the Hokie Bird. And it has the best deals on happy hour you've ever seen. Everyone heads there for $1 singles, $2 doubles, and $3 triples. But beware, happy hour may not exist on game day. However, no one really cares after the Commonwealth Cup game.
9. We eat our own mascot
If you go to Lane Stadium, one of the best things you can get to eat is a full size turkey drumstick. We are the only university that celebrates the consumption of its own mascot at games.
10. Every Blacksburg bar has the game on
Even if there's not a huge selection of bars in Blacksburg, we're all incredibly Hokie-spirited. On game day—home or away—every single bar and restaurant in Blacksburg has the game on. You can drink and eat while the game goes plays, hang out with the crowds who left the game early, and be there early to beat the those that trickle in after the Hokies win.
No one beats the Hokies at #HateWeek, and─that said─we're gonna beat the Cavaliers. Also, who the f*ck makes their mascot a cavalier? Seriously.
It's time to get jumping to Enter Sandman. What's a Hokie? I am.