Alright, so I’ve never been through a breakup myself — that’s probably because I’ve never been in a relationship (it turns out, exclusively going for emotionally unavailable men isn’t the fast track to commitment… who knew?) But I’ve been the first responder for enough of my friends’ breakups to know that eating during heartbreak is hard. Cooking? Absolutely not. Grocery shopping? A battlefield. But somehow, Trader Joe’s makes it easy — offering up meals and snacks that require zero effort but still feel like a warm hug (or at least a distraction from drafting that “one last text.”)
From frozen food that requires no brainpower to dessert that understands you more than your ex ever did, here’s the ultimate TJ’s breakup survival kit — curated by the crew members themselves and someone who’s never been dumped but has definitely delivered a breakup pep talk over a tub of Speculoos Cookie Butter ice cream.
Chicken Soup Dumplings
“I really like Asian food and everything. It’s like 100% my comfort food,” said TJ’s crew member, Nina Borja. “If I were going through a breakup, I probably would do one of the soup dumplings, like the Chicken Soup Dumplings we sell here.”
These dumplings are almost too easy to make, and Borja says you just have to microwave them for one minute. Of course, you could go the extra mile and steam them properly, but as we all know, breakups are not the time for effort.
“If I’m going through a breakup, I feel like I would just throw it in there, you know?” Borja laughed. “And then I would just eat that with rice and everything and cry my brains out.”
So if you need a meal that’s as low-effort as your ex’s Valentine’s Day gift, TJ’s Chicken Soup Dumplings have your back. Eat, cry, repeat.
Ridge Cut Potato Chips
Sometimes, a breakup calls for something salty, crunchy, and endlessly snackable. The answer for TJ’s crew member Nathti Shoulars is simple — chips.
“You know, I’m probably feeling down and depressed, I’m gonna get the chips. I’m gonna get the Ridge Cut Chips and stuff my face with those.”
There’s something undeniably satisfying about the thick, ridged-cut crunch of these classic potato chips. Whether you’re eating them straight from the bag in bed or pairing them with your favorite TJ’s dip, they’re the perfect no-frills comfort food. And hey, if you’re really in your feels, you can always think of it this way: Sure, the chips are salty — but at least they’re not rubbing salt in your wounds. That’s your ex’s job.
Strawberry Mini Hold the Cone!
When it comes to post-breakup comfort food, ice cream is a timeless classic. A TJ’s crew member, Rachel Puglia (who admits she just went through a breakup) knows this all too well. Puglia recalls working at Trader Joe’s on Valentine’s Day, observing the surge in demand for seasonal, romantic treats. But alongside the chocolates and date-night delicacies, another category flew off the shelves — ice cream.
“All the little desserts for dates were really popular, but I also noticed that the ice cream was equally as popular,” she explained. “Any of the Trader Joe’s ice creams are fantastic for a breakup. I like the little Hold the Cones!”
The newest addition to the lineup, Strawberry Mini Hold the Cones, is a particularly fitting choice. Their crisp chocolate shell and creamy, fruity center strike the perfect balance of indulgence and nostalgia. Puglia swears by them as a breakup essential.
“Honestly, just treat yourself,” she advised. “When I went through my breakup, I made myself steak and potatoes. As long as you’re treating yourself, that’s the main thing.
So whether you’re drowning your sorrows or reclaiming your independence, these bite-sized cones might just be the sweet boost you need.
Sourdough Bread
For TJ’s crew member Floriana Aloshi, one carb-heavy comfort food stands above the rest regarding breakups— sourdough bread.
“The best breakup food from Trader Joe’s is probably any type of bread — definitely sourdough,” she said. Why sourdough? Because it’s filling, a little indulgent, and, as Aloshi puts it, “it’s kind of, like, wrong for you in the moment, but it feels so right.”
She recommends keeping it simple, and especially loves to top a slice of sourdough with some cream cheese. No fancy flavors — just plain cream cheese, maybe topped with a few strawberries for a slightly classy touch. So, grab a loaf or some boules of sourdough if you’re heartbroken and need a snack that’s as complex and layered as your emotions. It won’t text you back but at least it won’t leave you feeling empty.
Gone Berry Crazy Chocolate-Covered Strawberries & Gone Bananas
TJ’s crew member Rose Patalano has the perfect breakup treat — one that’s as sensational as your post-split emotions.
“To get me through a breakup, it’s frozen bananas and strawberries with some vanilla ice cream,” she said. “And absolutely chocolate syrup and caramel too, right?”
Conveniently, TJ’s has two frozen treats that fit the bill: Gone Berry Crazy (chocolate-covered frozen strawberries) and Gone Bananas (chocolate-covered frozen banana slices.) Sound familiar? One minute, you’re going “berry crazy” over your ex, and the next, you’ve “gone bananas” trying to figure out what went wrong.
Luckily, these sweet, bite-sized treats don’t ghost you, text you “wyd?” at 2 in the morning, or say “I’m not looking for anything serious” when they clearly don’t mean it. Just pop them in a bowl, drown them in ice cream, and remind yourself — sweet treats are good for the heart. Even if yours is currently in pieces.
One day, when I finally get into a relationship, I’ll expect Mr. Right — tall, funny, and emotionally available (a revolutionary concept, I know.) But if he turns out to be Mr. Wrong? Well, at least I’ll know exactly what to do. I’ll march straight into TJ’s, grab a loaf of Sourdough Bread, a box of Chicken Soup Dumplings, and an unreasonable amount of chocolate-covered fruit, and remind myself that I’ve survived this heartbreak before… even if it wasn’t mine.