Spring brings the promise of warm weather, cherry blossoms, and most importantly…formal season. Kidding, but people seem to get pretty geeked up for this time of year. The elaborate weekend getaways consisting of bow ties, long dresses, and chaos. Aside from capturing that perfect “candid” picture with your date, the second most important picture taken is the one of the cooler you previously spent weeks laboring over.

As a tradition, females paint a cooler for their date when asked to attend a fraternity formal. This cooler goes on to be the most important piece of art any frat guy will ever own, and thus becomes filled with their favorite food and beverages for years to come.

I reached out to some JMU students asking for some jpegs of their handy work, and I was not disappointed. Here are some highlights from Madison’s finest (names crudely removed from coolers via Microsft paint by me…)

Weeks of hard work went into creating these, and by now they have served their purpose. So, we decided to put in some work of our own and guess what would be inside each of these masterpieces. Disclaimer, none of these have been confirmed. Only pictures have been graciously donated to the cause.

1. Most “Nauti-cal”

formal

Photo Courtesy of Ellie/Elsa Nguyen

This thing is immaculate. I can picture it filled with all the fixings for a martini and a bunch of cool ranch Doritos.

2. The Frat Daddy

formal

Photo Courtesy of Jenna Anderson

Strictly beer for this ode to pilsner.

3. Patriotically Significant

formal

Photo Courtesy of Mariah Dermody

What liquor would you drink with the Founding Fathers? Fermented grape juice? The 1700’s were wack.

4. “Oh my God I have two days to finish this nonsense”

formal

Photo Courtesy of Meghan Tocci

This one looks like it’s built strictly for Fireball and straight Colt 45.

5. The Southern vs. the NOVA

formal

Photo Courtesy of Elle Nguyen

As advertised, some nice corn liquor would sit pretty in this container.

6. The Irish I Was Italian

formal

Photo Courtesy of Jess McCormick

Digging the Irish theme. Aside, a cooler this size could probably fit an entire, authentic, boiled dinner. Look out Finnigans.

7. The Shawshank Redemption Scene Where They Drink Beer on the Roof

formal

Photo Courtesy of Ashlee Danner

“Jake says thank you”

8. The Woodstock

formal

Photo Courtesy of Nikki Raymond

The chick who painted this is obviously extremely cool. I like to picture this one filled with artisanal sandwiches and red wine.

9. The Lost Treasure Chest of Jose Cuervo

Photo Courtesy of Becca Seymour

Photo Courtesy of Becca Seymour

Tequila. Not even in a glass. Just the cooler filled with tequila.

10. The Netflix and Chill

formal

Photo Courtesy of Maggie Spindel

Bourbon for Mr. Underwood.

11. The “If I Met Your Parents Your Mom Would LOVE Me”

formal

Photo Courtesy of Taylor Foley

Mad Dogs.

12. The “I Vacation in the Outer Banks”

formal

Photo Courtesy of Ally Vidas

I would fill this one with Corona and hint of lime chips.

13. The Show Me Your Dukes

formal

Photo Courtesy of Laura Dobbs

Filled with strictly American Flag Budweiser cans.

14. The Masterpiece

formal

Photo Courtesy of Adrienne Pauley

Once this cooler has its stay in some museum of modern art, it will make a wonderful home for caviar and top shelf liquor.

15. The One Filled With Crab Cakes and Bow Ties

formal

Photo Courtesy of Grace Gibson

Wine coolers for the boys.

16. The Patagonia

formal

Photo Courtesy of Sarah Daniel

This cooler likes Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.