Lifestyle
A (Somewhat) Objective Ranking of the 10 Best Types of Birthday Cake
By Tori Bilas at Duke University
You’re totally lying if you say your birthday is not your favorite day of the year. The spotlight is on you, you’re getting more texts and Facebook posts than you’ve had in the past 364 days combined, and, best of all, you get to indulge in your absolute favorite birthday cake with no guilt whatsoever.
This day is all about you. Therefore, you should be the one to decide what sweet you want as the main attraction of your celebration. This isn’t always the case, but to help make your decision easier (or to better advise whoever is planning your surprise party), I've ranked the best birthday cakes to help make your day just that much sweeter.
10. Funfetti Birthday Cake
Funfetti cake is just a way to add special flair to a vanilla cake mix, but (spoiler alert) the sprinkles don’t make the cake taste any better. May as well just get yourself a quality vanilla cake if this is the flavor you’re after.
9. Marble Cake
Let’s be real, this is the cake the people-pleaser chooses because he or she doesn’t want anyone to be unhappy at the party. It’s YOUR day, so choose the flavor you want. Vanilla lovers dislike chocolate and chocolate lovers dislike vanilla, so marble cake displeases the whole crowd.
8. Specialty Bakery Cake
These are the ones you get for your meticulously planned, detail-oriented birthday celebration. The cake’s design and colors must match the party colors. Luckily, the cakes generally taste good and they're hard not to enjoy. More often than not, though, you'll get icing that’s too rich, cake that’s too stiff, and weird fillings between layers.
I can attest that these actually do taste incredible, but you have to get over the fact that it came from Whole Foods (it should be healthy, right?). These cakes don’t always look as good as they taste. The icing made without artificial coloring isn't as vibrant or attractive. The decorators aren't experts either. But if you can get past all these negatives that you don’t want swirling around the room on your birthday, the flavors are actually pretty good.
6. Carrot Cake
This is a risky choice to serve at your birthday party. Unless you’re turning 30, I would stay away from serving carrot cake, because it seems to be an acquired taste. Most youngsters still don’t believe in the idea of combining a vegetable with cake, but if it’s your absolute favorite cake in the world, go for it!
5. Cupcakes
There’s a lot of variety when it comes to cupcakes, so this can make a birthday party super fun. There’s always that issue of being unsatisfied with just one cupcake, but not wanting to be THAT person who goes in for another. Plus, they can be super hard to eat when they’re five inches tall and icing is getting all over your nose.
4. Generic Grocery Store Cake
These are the birthday party underdog that always seem to please, but cost hardly anything. Plus, you can really have fun with the decorations: inside jokes, funny photos, and all the goofy candles you want. Harris Teeter cakes are my personal favorite, but many local grocery stores have nailed the whole birthday cake thing, too.
3. Homemade Cake
These can either fall on the side of extremely sentimental or extremely unwanted. It depends on your loved one's baking abilities. They’re not always the most aesthetically pleasing, varying from lumpy brown loaves to sloppily-frosted baking dishes with fruit all over them. But some recipes just hold a special place in our hearts, so they’re a necessity on this special day.
2. Cookie Cake
These were all the rage when we were in middle school. Cookie cake was the perfect combination of a moist, perfectly baked chocolate chip cookie and the obligatory cake you must provide at a birthday celebration (even though you wanted the whole thing for yourself). The dividing factor? The icing. For some, the more icing you can slather on that cookie, the better. But others find themselves repulsed by the sweet, sugary frosting and scrape it off before eating the cookie part alone. Might as well just eat a cookie.
1. Ice Cream Cake
Everyone knows only the coolest kids have ice cream cake at their birthday parties (figuratively and literally). There’s no wasted effort of cutting cake and scooping ice cream, because it’s all combined in one delicious, perfectly-layered tower. There’s always something crunchy inside, combined with the silkiest ice cream and sometimes some frozen whipped icing as well. The combination never disappoints.
Now you know what cake to get for your next birthday extravaganza. Can't go wrong with an ice cream cake... unless you're at an outdoor party this time of year.