Amazon is full of odd treasures. Namely, giant gummies. The online retailer is currently selling a nearly 30 pound, 8 foot long gummy worm deemed the “Party Python.”
Modeled by a sultry man in a white tank top and leather pants (yes, a lot of this is confusing to me), the Party Phython is suitable for whatever occasions you deem it worthy. It has a 12 month shelf life, so you, your family, and your friends can take your sweet time eating it.
According to its description, “Gummy Artisans have crafted this gargantuan reptile with lifelike scales, a detailed face, and a 26.9 pound muscular body.” That sounds kinda scary, but totally awesome if you’re trying to be Britney Spears circa MTV VMAs 2001.
Looking at the reviews, it’s hard to tell if anyone has actually purchased this thing. One reads, “Upon opening the box I knew I had found my new best friend in Monty. His sweet eyes bulged out at me in delight. I knew he was also happy to be home.” Another claims, “I came straight from the gym without showering and wore this to a work party just like the picture recommends, but nobody would help me eat it afterwards…Now I just use it in front of the door to keep drafts out so it’s not a total loss.”
If you feel like you need this in your life, buy it fast because there’s only one left! But it’s currently being sold for a steep $149.95, which comes to about $5.50 per pound of candy. However, if you’re not about skipping out on your cable bill to buy this thing, the company that makes this, Giant Gummy Bears, also sells a smaller, but still large, 3 pound gummy worm for a cute $35. Three pounds is still unbelievable, people! A
So yeah, Amazon has it all. Get your parents a new bff in Alexa, groceries delivered from Whole Foods, and a ginormous gummy worm.