Sometimes, a white wine or a vodka soda just isn’t gonna cut it. Beer’s irreplaceable crispness just can’t be competed with and for you ladies out there that would take an ice cold Bells Two Hearted above all else, then we’re on the same page and this article is probably your spirit animal.
You are grateful for your older brothers and/or beer connoisseur of a father
Moms are great for endless reasons, but their love for cheap chardonnay and pinot grigio definitely doesn’t show in your genetic make-up. Then men in your family opened the golden gates to a life of hoppy beer and Monday Night Football, and in turn, wine night and “The Bachelor” took the back seat.
Your hometown is stereotypically “hipster”
Grand Rapids, MI? Asheville, NC? Portland, OR? Your hometown pride is rooted deeply within the countless microbreweries, the man-buns, and the hot yoga/coffee shops that flood the city limits. While you may not associate with the type, you attribute much of your appreciation of beer to the trendiness of your respective hipster-ville.
A warm beer may as well be poisoned
Your friends and sorority sisters are consistently baffled by how quickly you can down a brew, but you can’t help that craft beer is in its best form when cold. Bottles of Bells, Blue Moon, and Laguinitas frequently commandeer the space of foods that actually need chilling, but a cold beer trumps all… sorry cheese sticks, we need that drawer space.
Natty Light is the LaCroix of beer
You’re tagged as the girl who beats the frat boys in shotgun races, but it’s only because you equate Keystone and Natty Light to carbonated water. Low alcohol content = high chuggability, friends. You have even thought about how light beer is actually quite refreshing after you’ve been dancing in sweaty frat parties for hours on end.
When you turned 21, you went straight to a brewery or bierhaus:
The bar only had 5 beers on tap, so naturally you went to the place where you could get your first (legal) IPA – or if you were feeling frisky, a double IPA. Getting carded by a bearded hipster is cooler than getting carded by a scary bouncer anyways.
Your taste for beer changes with the season
When the leaves turn, when the snow falls, when the flowers bloom, and the sun shines high, there is always new seasonal beer brewing to complement the time of year. You get giddy when the spring equinox rolls around (hello, Summer brews), but you’re just as excited to taste winter ales’ hints of clove and citrus come the holiday season.
You studied abroad for the beer
“What was the best part of your semester?” Oh, you mean besides going to The Guinness Storehouse in Ireland, visiting Carlsberg in Copenhagen, and The Heineken Experience in Amsterdam? Obviously Oktoberfest in Munich, Germany. Speaking of which, you were probably the girl who got up on the Oktoberfest tables to chug your stein in front of thousands of people… and you have no shame in that.
Cider and “malt beverages” are the bane of your existence
For someone who thinks dessert stouts are sugary enough, you’re not quite sure how girls can stomach the sugar content of Angry Orchard and Smirnoff Ice. You’d much rather be tipping back your go-to APA, no questions asked.
You don’t drink beer to get drunk
Your roommates think you’re a total weirdo for cracking open a beer when you’re doing homework, but you can’t help that you genuinely love the taste of a good beer. While craft beers’ typically high alcohol content can come in handy sometimes, you drink it because you can appreciate its craft and flavor.