Ah, the #DHallDash, the notorious shit-storm that comes following a trip to JMU’s all-you-can-eat dining hall, D-Hall. Young and old, freshman and seniors, and everyone in between have been plagued by dash.
I will admit, it is almost impossible to avoid the dash. However, there are absolutely certain foods that will have you running for the toliet following your meal. Or, let’s be real, that will have you running in the middle of your meal. Here are 9 foods to steer clear of at D-Hall due to the near-guarantee of earth-shattering diaherrea that will follow. Your welcome in advance.
1. Corndogs
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1) Hotdogs, 2) Hotdogs coated in batter. Guaranteed to have you running for the toilet. Play it safe and make these corn dog muffins at home (easier accessibility to a toilet)
2. Chocolate Marshmallow Quesadillas
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This is a recipe for disaster. And painful poop. Try this sweet quesadilla instead.
3. Indian Spiced Tofu Sauté
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Even the name of this dish makes me want to poo.
4. Philly Cheesesteak Stromboli
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This dish will bind you in ways you could have never imagined.
5. Gardenburger
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Sure, it’s probably the healthiest dish on this list but that doesn’t mean it’s not going to make you crap your pants.
6. Chili Cheddar Dog
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Just no.
7. Buffalo Mash
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Yes, this is a JMU classic, but any dish that combines fried chicken, hot sauce and mashed potatoes is a life ruiner.
8. Nacho Bar
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You know what they say about Mexican food… olé.
9. Black Bean Cakes
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Beans, beans, good for your heart… don’t eat the effing beans at D-Hall. Amateur. Here’s the real reason why beans make you fart.